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His plump lips are an angry red and swollen. His emerald green eyes are hooded, looking glossy and filled with lust. “What does it look like I’m doing?” He smirks, cocking his head to the side like this is entertaining.
“Please, just kill me already. I don’t want to do this.” The defeated sigh that leaves my body is enough to make my shoulders slump over. I’ve never felt more exhausted and tired, my fight is gone, no longer able to defy the inevitable. In the matter of a few hours, I went from finding my true self among these three daunting men, to accepting that the same men I love will be the ones who’ll bring me crashing down at their feet.
I can’t believe I let myself fucking fall for these three, let alone fall in love with them.
There are so many damn issues with this, but I can’t help it. I’m in love with three men who will be the death of me.
“You see, temptress, I can’t do that.” His breathless chuckle makes my stomach flutter from the beautiful noise I so rarely get to hear.
“What?” They’re just fucking with me, confusing me even more.
“We can’t kill you, darling,” Blais says confidently, a stark contrast from moments ago when Ace ripped the blade away from him.
“You have a choice to make, princess.” Theon jumps in like they’ve had this little fucking speech coordinated. I’ll give it to them, their theatrics are good. They really know how to lay it on thick, making a person feel secure.
“And what choice would that be?” Sarcasm laces my voice, knowing that I won’t really have a choice in whatever they say. It’ll likely be a choice of my death—whether I’d like to be carved up or fucking shocked until my heart explodes.
“Are you with us?” Ace growls, bringing his fingers to my neck and squeezing gently.
“With you?” I’m honestly unsure what he’s asking me right now. Everything about this interaction is giving me fucking whiplash.
“Are you in this with us or not?” Realization makes its way through my brain. This is their way of asking me if I’m like them. If I’m one of them. If they can trust me enough to want to stay.
Just seconds ago, I was accepting the fact they were going to kill me, now I’m trying to figure out exactly what it means to be one of them.
“And if I say no, then what happens?” Every part of me wants to say yes, that I’m with them, that I wholeheartedly fell under their spell, and that I’m in love with the three psychotic assholes in front of me, but I need to know this will be a fair choice to make.
“Just tell us your decision, Zamira. Are you with us?” Ace demandingly asks again. Taking a deep breath, I look at Theon over Ace’s shoulder. His eyes are hopeful, silently pleading with me to say yes, but the rest of his face remains neutral.
Tilting my head to the side, and looking up, I see Blais’ worried expression filtering across his features, anxious as to what my answer will be. Closing my eyes once more, I try to calm the chaotic thoughts going through my mind. If I’m with them, what does that really mean? Will I still be their captive? Can I trust them? Everything feels messy, I’m unsure, and honestly scared, but internally I know what I want. What I crave.
Are my desires enough to overcome the insane impossibilities of this situation? Are my needs enough to overcome every obstacle we are bound to face? I’m a fucking FBI agent and they are serial killers. Nothing about us fits together; we are different in so many ways that doesn’t make sense.
Calming my heavy breathing, I try to push out every thought I’m having, to let go of the doubt, fear, and panic coursing through my veins. I’m scared to lose them. I’m scared to lose myself.
These three have shown me exactly how dark their souls are from the very beginning. They’ve shown me they want me, crave me, and need me. They pierced my blackened heart, tugging on it until I realized what was in front of me the entire time.
They’ve accepted my darkness, encouraging it to come out instead of forcing it down into an untouchable box. They’ve never expected me to hide my true self from them, instead they slowly tried to get me to show myself who I really am. What I am. They take the demons inside me, pushing against them with their own, until we warp into something that simultaneously excites and terrifies me. They give me hope for what’s to come.
I can’t see a future without Theon, Blais, and Ace in it. Iwon’timagine a future without them in it. The thought of losing them makes me physically sick. My body burns, making me want to claw at every inch of my skin, knowing they are giving me the chance to give them up. The fact is I don’t ever want to be without them.
They see me. Really fucking see me, like no one else ever will. No one will ever be able to make me feel the way they do. Like a fucking queen, who rules right beside them. They are the only ones who will ever understand me, like I’m the only one who will ever get them.
Fuck. Me.
These lunatics are my saviors. They saved me from myself. From the despair I promised myself a life of. From the eternal self-loathing and destruction I was bound to live in.
They saved me in a way I never could’ve saved myself.
Snapping my eyes open, I stare at Ace with a look that could blaze an eternal fire. My mind is made up. It might be the wrong choice in the long run, they might destroy me but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
“I’m in.” This is my choice. It’s something I truly want and need. No one gets to dictate my future, except for me. My fate is mine to navigate and I’m starting it right now.
“Thank fuck.” Blais sighs behind me, relaxing his body into mine. Theon’s face lights up with a small smirk, just as happy. So many emotions are falling down on me at once, but I know I’ve made the right choice.
“Do you understand what it means to truly be with us, temptress?” Ace pulls my attention again, this time mischief swirling in his eyes. “There’s no escaping us. No running away.”
No running away.
