Page 101 of If I Could


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When he stood up he held the gun in his hand. It was a type I’d used before. I’d grown up going to the gun range with my dad, thinking it was just a fun activity, not realizing he was practicing to protect himself from whoever might come after him. I had no idea he was dealing with criminals, selling weapons on the black market. I thought he was just a boring businessman who imported junky souvenirs for tourist shops. And hedoesdo that. That’s his main job, but his side job is where he makes his money. The job I didn’t know about until just recently.

“We good?” the guy asked.

“How do I know it works?”

“Go out back in the alley. There’s some cans set up. Go try it out. See what you think.” He eyes me. “I don’t sell defective product. If I did, I’d be out of business.”

I got up to leave, but then remembered the other thing I needed. “A phone. I need a phone that can’t be traced.”

He smirked. “Left a girl behind, huh?” He opened a drawer under the bar and pulled out a small flip phone like I hadn’t seen in years. He set it on the counter. “You love her?”

My mind immediately thought of Sage, which was fucked up for many reasons. One, because I shouldn’t have been thinking of her during this transaction. And two because she’s the first person that popped in my head when he asked if I loved her.

“Yeah,” I said, going along with his assumption that I needed the phone to call a girl. “I love her more than anything.”

He shook his head. “Another dumb fucker.”

“Meaning what?”

“Love has taken down more men than I can count. Half are in prison and the other half are dead.”

“I know how to be careful.”

“We’ll see about that. Send me a postcard in a couple years so I know you’re still alive.” He chuckled. “I tell everyone that. Have yet to get one.”

“How much?” I said, holding up the phone.

“Five hundred.”

I gave him six, then got the hell out of there. He locked the door behind me and I went straight to the alley and fired off a couple shots. The gun worked fine but I’d need more ammo. I could get that later.

I left with exactly what I’d been searching for. Like I told Sage, I’d accomplished my goal. She just didn’t know what goal I was talking about. If she did, she wouldn’t be in my arms right now, looking beautiful. Sweet. Like an angel.

An angel I could fall in love with. If I wasn’t living in hell.

CHAPTERNINETEEN

SAGE

It’s beena month since I met Kyle but it seems longer than that, probably because we spend so much time together. What was supposed to be a casual relationship doesn’t seem so casual anymore. We have dinner together every night, breakfast together every morning, and take turns spending the night at each other’s house. We’re basically living together, which is not how I would describe a casual relationship.

The only thing casual about it is the fact that Kyle still won’t open up to me. He still says nothing when I ask about his family and he almost never talks about his past. If there’s no future for us I guess I don’t need to know all that stuff, but I’d still like to. I want to know everything about him. I find him fascinating. And smart, funny, sexy. He’s just what I’ve been looking for, but in a couple months it’ll all end. He’ll go back to California and I’ll move in with my mom and this summer will just be a memory.

“Going to lunch?” I ask Helen as she grabs her purse from under her desk.

“Yes. I just need to refresh my lipstick.” She takes out her tube of red lipstick and smears it over her lips.

“Got a hot lunch date?” I tease.

“Actually, I do. Marv’s friend is in town and I agreed to have lunch with him.”

Marv is one of her cousins. She has a million cousins and talks about them all the time.

“So it’s not really a date,” I say.

“He asked me out, I said yes, and he’s picking me up. It’s a date.” She puts her lipstick away.

“But he doesn’t live here so it’s not like this date could lead to anything.”

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