Page 107 of If I Could


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The girls start talking about Nina’s dress, leaving us guys with nothing to say.

“So what’s new?” Josh asks as the girls continue to talk.

“Not much. How about you? Catch any criminals today?” I meant it as a joke but it came out sounding condescending, which is probably what my subconscious was going for. It’s not that I have anything against cops but I do when they can’t get out of cop-mode when they’re not on duty.

“Caught a drunk driver, a shoplifter, and went to the scene of a domestic abuse call.”

“How’d that turn out?”

“He killed her.” He watches me to see my reaction.

What the hell’s that about? Does he think I’m going to kill Sage? Or does he think I’m just a killer in general? Seeing him look at me like that pisses me off even more.

“That’s too bad,” I say, clenching my hand under the table to control my anger.

“They got in a fight and the guy just went ballistic. Didn’t have a history of violence. He just snapped.”

“Did he say anything when you arrested him?” Sage asks. I hadn’t realized she was listening.

“No, but we did some checking and it sounds like he’d been living a secret life. He had a woman he’d been seeing in a different state and had a kid with her. And we think he had another woman he was seeing in town. We think his wife was about to find out about all this so he killed her before she could. Of course, that’s just a theory for now. We need to do some more investigating before we know for sure.”

“That’s horrible,” Sage says.

“I wouldn’t have let the bastard kill me,” Nina says, adjusting the top of her dress. It’s a cotton sundress with no straps and it keeps sliding down when she moves. She’s someone who moves her hands and body a lot when she talks. “I would’ve shot him before he even had a chance.”

“You’re afraid of guns,” Josh says.

“I’m not afraid of a damn gun.” She points to his belt. “I’m sitting right next to one.”

“Remember when I took you to the shooting range?” he asks.

She points her finger at him. “Don’t you dare! That was one time and I was very emotional that week!”

“She cried,” he says to Sage and me.

“Asshole!” She hits him, then faces forward, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hey.” He puts his arm around her. “A lot of people don’t like guns. I get it. They’re scary. They kill people.”

“Just shut-up,” she says, turning away from him, but she doesn’t push his arm off her.

He pulls her closer and leans down by her ear. “Sorry, babe. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you.” He kisses her cheek.

“I hate guns,” Sage says. “Just knowing you have one on you right now makes me nervous.”

“If you know how to use one,” Josh says, “and follow all the safety precautions, there’s no reason to be afraid of guns.”

“I still don’t like them. I couldn’t date someone who had a gun.” She waves her hand at Josh. “Nothing against you! I didn’t mean it like that. I just—”

“I know what you meant. And I totally understand.”

Nina faces forward again. “It doesn’t bother me that Josh carries one because he knows how to use it. And he doesn’t just whip it out to show it off.”

“Sometimes I do,” he says to her with a smile. “Wait, are we still talking about the gun?”

“Shut up.” She swats at him, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, I get what you mean, Sage. If I wasn’t dating a cop, I wouldn’t let a gun anywhere near me.”

The table is silent. We all look at Nina.

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