Page 130 of If I Could


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“What is it?”

“Jesse talked to me today.”

“About what?”

“About…” I pause. “About you.”

“What about me?”

“His cousin was in town yesterday and when they were out having lunch, they saw you and apparently his cousin recognized you.”

Kyle sits up straighter, his shoulders stiffening. “Recognized me from where?”

“He said he saw you in some small town like two hours from here. It’s not even really a town. Just a gas station and a bar. His cousin said he saw you go into the bar.” I pause again, my stomach turning somersaults from my nerves. “Is it true? Were you there?”

“Yeah,” he says casually, as if he has nothing to hide. “I was taking a drive on my motorcycle and I needed to stop, but the place wasn’t open.”

At least he’s not lying. He admitted he was there and he admitted it was closed.

“Jesse’s cousin said you went in.”

“I did. I wanted something to drink. I didn’t know it was closed until the guy running the place told me.”

“But he still let you in?”

“Yeah. It was kind of strange.”

“Strange how?”

“It’s just strange that the place was even there. It was a ghost town. There was nothing there but some old abandoned buildings. I wondered how the place stayed in business.”

“Jesse’s cousin said they um…sell things.” My heart is beating faster. I’m so afraid of what Kyle might tell me. I don’t want him to be bad. I love him and don’t want to find out he’s been lying to me this whole time, pretending to be someone he’s not. I can’t handle that. After everything with my dad, I can’t handle finding out that another person I trusted, a person I love, lied to me.

“He said they sell things other than liquor. Things like drugs and um…guns.” There. I said it. I didn’t directly accuse him of anything but I hinted at it.

My heart’s beating out of my chest as I wait for his reaction.

“Theydosell those things,” he says. “But I didn’t know that when I went there.”

Given the even tone of his voice and his casual demeanor, I don’t think he’s lying. I really don’t think he knew they sold that stuff.

A bad guy would know about places like that. An innocent man wouldn’t.

I relax, my heart slowing back to normal. “So what happened?”

“I went in there and had a beer. I was dying of thirst. I’d been riding for two hours in the hot sun.”

“How’d you know they sold drugs? Did the guy tell you?”

“Yeah, he asked if I wanted some.”

“And what’d you say?”

“I told him no,” he says, defensively. “Do you really think I’d do drugs?”

“It was just a question. Did he try to sell you anything else?”

“No. But as I was sitting there, I was starting to realize why the bar was out there in the middle of nowhere. It was a place where people could buy stuff without getting caught. I started to feel like I wasn’t safe. Like if I walked out of there, I might run into trouble. That maybe I’d be followed. The guy had already hinted at what was going on there and if I acted clueless, he might think I was playing him.”

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