Page 32 of If I Could


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“No, but…I don’t know. Maybe I would. It’s been over a year since…well, let’s just say I might not turn him down.”

“Huh. You’re not as prudish as I thought.”

“You thought I was a prude?”

“It’s better than thinking you’re a slut.”

“I’m neither a slut nor a prude. I just haven’t been with anyone for a while. I haven’t met anyone I was interested in until now.”

“Why do you like this guy so much? Is it the motorcycle?”

“No. I haven’t even seen him ride it.”

“So you just think he’s hot. Is that it?”

“I guess, but I feel like there’s something else there. More than just attraction.”

“Meaning what?”

“I’m not sure yet. That’s why I need to get to know him. He’s really guarded so I think it’ll take a while for him to open up to me. He’s like you that way.”

“Me? What are you talking about? I’m an open book.”

“No you’re not. You act all badass at first, just like Kyle did when I first met him. Then over time, you soften up a little and show off your sweet side.”

“Uh…sweet side? I don’t have a sweet side. I have a nice side, but definitely not sweet. Seriously, have you met me?”

I laugh. I knew she’d react that way. “I think Kyle is the same way. I think he puts on a tough act, but underneath it all he can be sweet. Maybe that’s why I like him. He’s just like my best friend.”

“I’m your best friend? Aww, that’s so sweet. See? You’re the sweet one, not me.”

“I mean it, Nina,” I say, being serious. “You’re the only friend I have right now.”

She sighs. “Don’t get like this, Sage. You know I hate all that sappy stuff.”

But it’s true. After the scandal broke, the people I thought were my friends disappeared. They wouldn’t respond to my texts or return my calls. I have a feeling if I went back to campus in the fall, none of them would even talk to me. They’d pretend they don’t know me or they’d find excuses not to hang out with me. So as of now, Nina is my only friend.

“I’m stopping by tonight,” she says.

“What?”

“I’m stopping by your house tonight. I want to meet this guy.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I told him it’d just be him and me.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I came over. If it’s not a date, then what’s the big deal? It’s just three people hanging out.”

“Can we do it some other time? I’m really trying to get to know him and I’ve finally got him starting to talk more. If you’re there, he’ll get quiet again.”

“I can get him to talk. It’s one of my many skills. How do you think I get all the town gossip?”

“Could you please just let me be alone with him tonight? We can all hang out together some other night. I promise.”

She doesn’t answer. Maybe she’s mad at me, but I really don’t want her there tonight. I want to learn more about Kyle and I know that won’t happen if she’s there.

“So did you hear anything from Josh?”

“Yes.” She chews on her gum.

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