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He’s safe for now. He’s too young to understand what’s going on. But I still don’t want him around my father. The man is surrounded by criminals—people who wouldn’t think twice about hurting an innocent child.
“What do you think?” Sage asks, showing off that beautiful smile of hers. That smile had me stopping in my tracks when I saw her on the road. I was on a mission, wanting to be left alone, but then she followed me and I saw that smile and couldn’t move my damn legs. There I was, standing in the road, staring at that smile like I’d never seen one before.
“Why don’t we have dessert out here? Your house still smells like the dead lady’s couch.”
She laughs as she gets up. “You’re right. I’ll be right back.”
“Need some help?” I ask as she goes inside.
“Nope, I’m good,” she calls back through the screen door.
I’m glad she said that. I can’t risk going in that house again, at least not the kitchen. Not after what happened earlier.
That kiss. Why the hell did I do that? I know she’s off limits and then I fucking kiss her. I wasn’t even thinking when I did it. It’s like a switch shut off my brain and my feelings just took over. It was a response, a need, an uncontrollable urge. She was right there in front of me. So close. Her body almost touching mine. I tried to stop myself. I almost pulled back but then I saw her eyes. I heard her breath quicken. And I knew she wanted me to do what I was about to do. So I did it. I kissed her.
It was a kiss I’ll never forget. It was one of those kisses that was good from the start. It wasn’t awkward. It didn’t need to be practiced a few times before it felt right. It was just right from the moment our lips touched. It told me there’s something special about this girl. I already knew that from the moment I met her but the kiss just confirmed it. There’s something about her—about us—that feels right.
I’ve been trying to come up for a reason why I feel this way. When she told me about her dad, I assumed that was the reason. We both have fucked-up fathers so that’s why we feel so drawn to each other. But maybe that’s not it. Maybe she just happens to be the girl for me. But that doesn’t make sense. There’s no way fate would put me through what I had to go through to get here just to meet a girl.
“It’s chocolate with a strawberry filling,” Sage says as she brings out two pieces of cake.
“Sounds great,” I say as she sets the plate in front of me.
“It is. I’ve already had two slices.” She sits across from me and refills our waters from the pitcher on the table.
I watch her, my heart thumping faster, my eyes unable to leave her beautiful face, those eyes, that smile. Fuck. What is going on with me? I can’t react this way. She’s off limits. All women are until I can get control of my life again and get my brother away from my dad.
“It’s good,” I say, taking a bite of the cake.
The last time I had cake was at my brother’s birthday party last year. It was Cain’s twelfth birthday so it should’ve been at a pizza place or arcade or some other place appropriate for kids that age. But instead, my father had the party at a fancy restaurant in Midtown. A placehewanted to go. My brother didn’t like it but he kept quiet, knowing if he complained, he’d be scolded and told he was being ungrateful. I tried to make the night better for him by bringing along some gifts, mostly video games along with a watch he wanted that connects with his phone.
Dad gave him money, which is what he’s been giving us since Mom died. She always bought us presents, but Dad just gives us money inside a generic card.
That night of Cain’s birthday, Dad disappeared during dessert. The cake had just arrived at our table when he got a phone call. He went outside to answer it and was gone for a half hour. I don’t know where he went or what he was doing but when he returned to the table, he was on edge, his hand shaking just slightly but enough for me to tell something was wrong. I ignored it, much like Sage ignored the warning signs about her dad. We both chose to not see what was right in front of us.
“Want another slice?” Sage asks, getting up from the table.
“No, but thank you for offering.” I stand up. “I should probably be going. You have to be at work early.”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t sleep much.“
Because of her dad. I know exactly how she feels. Despite the speech I gave her earlier, I’m unable to follow my own advice. I still lie awake every night, beating myself up for not seeing what was right in front of me. For going along with his lies and never questioning them, even when my gut told me something was up. And in those rare moments when I do fall asleep, I’m tortured by nightmares. Scenes of that night playing over and over again, then scenes of my brother meeting a similar fate.
“Would you mind staying?” she asks. “If you’re busy, I understand. It just gets really boring being out here alone every night. We could just watch TV if you want.”
What do I do? I can tell she really wants me to stay, but if I agree to it we might end up repeating what we did in the kitchen. But there’s no couch anymore so we’ll have to sit in separate chairs. Chairs that aren’t even next to each other. If we’re that far apart, chances are nothing will happen.
“I guess I could stay a little longer.”
She smiles. “Great! Let’s go inside.”
This girl is far too nice, and far too trusting. I’ve only known her a short time and she’s already trusting me enough to go in her house, which is out in the middle of nowhere. It’s not surprising her father conned his way back into her life.
She needs to be more cautious, even with me. I’d never hurt her, or even consider it, but I’m still basically a stranger and she’s alone with me, at night, with nobody else around.
We watch TV but she only gets a few channels so our choices are limited. She stops on an action movie, which I think she did for my sake, not hers, because after a few minutes, she’s dozing off in the chair. I could leave but I’m not ready to so I continue to watch the movie but my eyes keep wandering over to her. God, she’s beautiful. That long, wavy brown hair. Those soft full lips. Her long tan legs are dangling off the side of the chair, angled toward me. I want to reach over and touch them, run my hand along her smooth skin. But I can’t, and so I force my eyes back to the TV.
Over the next hour, Sage remains asleep and my eyes keep going back to her. I can’t make myself stop. She’s so beautiful. So kind. So trusting.
