Page 24 of Loving Winter


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I pull away intentionally, distancing myself even as I chew. Gabriel lets his hands drop back to his legs after my clear sign, but his ice-blue eyes never leave me. I can feel them studying me as I swallow a big bite.

“Winter, I know you must be scared. I get it. We weren’t planning on you getting pregnant, but that’s what happened, and I want to keep the baby. I want to be a part of this with you.”

His tone is calm and careful, as though he’s speaking to an agitated animal and not the girl he basically knocked up on purpose to mark his territory. When my subconscious inconveniently reminds me that I also chose to have sex without a condom on several occasions, I push the thought away roughly.

“So, what? Are you going to keep me locked up in here like someHandmaid’s Talekind of shit until I have the baby?” I sound almost as bitter as I feel, and I genuinely hope he’s offended by my comparison. He has no right to keep me here against my will. No right to force me to keep a child I don’t want.

But rather than hurt or offended, Gabriel cocks his head in confusion. “Handmaid’s Tale, what’s that? I don’t understand.”

Irritated that even my insult isn’t computing, I growl and set aside the empty plate, then cross my arms over my chest. “Never mind.” Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my temper. Being snarky or short won’t help me get what I want, and I want to have the freedom to leave this room as I please. “Will you let me out of this room if I promise not to go back to the clinic right now?” I ask, trying to keep my tone in check.

Gabriel studies my face as though checking for my sincerity. I wait with bated breath, hoping he will at least let me come and go as I please if he’s expecting me to be trapped with a baby for nine months. My stomach turns at the thought, but I have to take this one step at a time and hope I can convince him of why we don’t want a baby. Not right now.

Finally, he nods slowly. “If you promise, I will let you out. But you have to stay here at the clubhouse. I don’t even want you going to Starla’s for now.”

I roll my eyes. “We’ve already gone through all this. Starla knows not to take me anywhere I’m notallowedto go. So why not? She’s my friend and wouldn’t get me into any trouble, so why can’t I go to her house.”

Gabriel swallows hard, his eyes dipping for the first time since he entered the room, and my stomach drops. He’s not telling me something.

“What is it?” I ask. A shiver runs down my spine. I hate it when he holds information back from me. It reminds me of how he kept my identity from me when I lost my memory, and the sting of betrayal cuts me to the quick. “Gabriel, what aren’t you telling me?” I demand, my tone growing harsh.

“It’s… it could be nothing,” he says, shrugging like it’s not a big deal, but his eyes still won’t hold mine like before.

“Don’t lie to me.”

When he doesn’t answer right away. I growl in frustration. “I’m so sick of all the secrets and lies! Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on? It feels like you don’t trust me when you’re the one hiding information.”

Gabriel scowls, reminding me I had just kept my pregnancy from him, but that was different. That was my body, and this is my life, and he’s not telling me something that has to do with where my body is or is not allowed to be. Opening my mouth, I start to demand he tell me, but before I get the words out, he looks up and meets my eyes.

“Mark thinks Athena’s gotten word that you’re still alive.”

My jaw hangs loose as I absorb his words. That was not what I expected him to say at all. And the knowledge that Athena might know sends a shiver of terror down my spine. Immediately, I reject the emotion. I shouldn’t have to fear someone like Athena. She should be the one who fears me. At one point in time, she probably did.But now I’m stuck with no support beyond Gabe and the Devil’s Sons, and how could they stand up against the Blackmoor heirs?Admittedly, they’re the main brute force behind Dean and Cayde and Jaxon, but that doesn’t stop the Blackmoor heirs from holding a kind of power that trumps any club of bikers.

Then I realize Gabe seems to be still struggling with something, like he has something else to tell but can’t quite get it out.

“There’s more,” I state, an observation, not a question.

Gabriel releases a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping as if in resignation, and his hands move to his face to scrub his brow.

“Gabe?”

When his eyes meet mine, they’re filled with pain and conflict. “Mark wants me to hand you over.”

His apologetic tone makes my stomach drop.Does that mean he’s thinking about it? But how could he if he wants me to keep the baby?Then I consider the bigger picture. Even if he refuses to hand me over, we’ve lost our support from the Devil’s Sons. They won’t protect us if Mark wants Gabriel to hand me over, and him saying so pretty much guarantees that Gabriel and I are on our own. If Gabriel’s still with me.

The thought of Gabriel being my sole protector makes my heart clench with fear, and not necessarily for me, though I don’t relish the thought of being at the mercy of those three Blackmoor boys and their queen. Even the bruises on Gabe’s face from fighting with his friends about me had worried me. I can’t imagine Dean or the rest of them showing him any mercy. We couldbothend up dead if Gabe doesn’t hand me over.

That doesn’t stop my chin from trembling at the idea of having to face Athena’s wrath. I may not have been the one to order the attack on her or her mother. But my father did, and I was anything but nice to her when we were fighting for the same guy. Tears sting my eyes as fear chokes the air from my lungs. Perhaps I won’t even need to worry about getting an abortion or carrying this baby. We may both end up dead before the little being inside me has a chance to live.

But as Gabriel takes in the expression on my face, he must see the fear inside me. This time when he scoots closer to envelop me in his arms, I let him. He feels so warm and strong and sure as he gathers me to him.

“I won’t let that happen. There’s no way I’ll let any harm come to you or our baby.” Shifting, Gabriel uncovers the wrapped palm of his hand to reveal the W carved there. “I’m yours, no matter what happens.” Then he gently presses his thumb into my palm where the G is carved. “And you’re mine. This baby is mine. And I’ll never let anyone hurt you.” Sincerity burns in Gabriel’s eyes as he holds me close.

The intensity of my relief at hearing him say those words leaves me breathless. I’m touched by how deeply he seems to care. Somehow, it warms my heart to know he would do anything for our child and me. This tender side of him is something new. I’ve seen his possessive side, his dominant and dangerous side, but never this one, where I feel both safe and even… loved.

When Gabriel’s fingers come up to my face to trace along my cheekbone before combing the hair behind my ear, I close my eyes. Even his light caresses set my skin on fire. I feel the warmth of his breath as he leans in, and his lips press against mine moments later. I don’t pull away. I don’t resist. While I’m still uncertain of the idea of keeping this baby, I know one thing for sure. Having Gabriel, knowing he would do anything to protect me, is the one grounding force that keeps me sane. And my chest aches with the sudden emotion of knowing he belongs to me too.

15

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