Page 49 of Loving Winter


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As we pull up to the clubhouse and park in the lot out front, I realize I’ve been silent the whole ride home, and so has Gabe.Has he been thinking about our child’s future as well?I wonder.

He helps me down from the truck and takes my hand. Guiding me through the throng of people in the clubhouse, he gives a few nods of acknowledgment and tosses the keys to Pete, the guy who lent him the truck for the day.

“Finally,” Pete teases. “I better not find any new stains on those seats.”

“You should know better than to lend it to me then, Pete,” Gabe jokes back, and I have to laugh at the way Pete’s face falls.

Rather than stopping to grab a beer with his friends, who call him over to the bar, Gabriel guides me straight to the double doors of the residential side of the house, and I’m grateful. After so much stress in one day, after such an emotional roller coaster, I would love nothing more than some peace and quiet, and some answers from Gabe.

As soon as we’re in the room, Gabriel shuts the door behind me at the same time as he steps close, combing his fingers into my hair as he cups the back of my head.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his blue eyes intense with concern.

“I’m fine,” I reassure him, placing my hands on his strong chest so I can feel his heart beating against my palm.

His free arms encircle my waist as he pulls me close, cradling me to him, and for the first time, I feel a tremble run through his body.

“Everything’s fine,” I promise, pressing my ear to his chest as I hold him.

“I thought I might lose you today. The way Jaxon looked at you. The wayshelooked at you. I’ve never seen anyone hate a person so fiercely.”

“I thought you were going to try and take on the whole club along with Jaxon right there at the beginning,” I say and chuckle.

“I would have,” he assures me, his strong arms enfolding me with warmth.

“I know,” I breathe. After a long moment, I pull back so I can look Gabe in the eye. “But I need more from you than your life, you know. You can’t just go around going berserk until someone puts you down. I need you. This baby needs you. We have to be smart and staytogether. Okay?”

There it is, that same pain in his eyes that tears my heart apart. “I’m so sorry, Winter. It’s my fault. I should have done better, been smarter. If I hadn’t made you go to that doctor’s appointment, if I’d remembered Jaxon was coming for a meeting… it was sostupid,” he growls, his tone full of vitriol.

I raise an eyebrow at him as I fight to restrain a smile. “You’re right. It was stupid,” I start, and Gabriel’s eyes leave mine as he bows his head in resignation. I’m so unprepared for this vulnerable side of him. I’m so used to the hot-tempered beast of a man who isn’t afraid to put me in my place when I talk back or say something snarky. Cupping his chin, I force Gabriel to look at me once more. “It was stupid to think we could hide me at all. Blackmoor’s a small town, and I’ve done anything but make your life easy. I’m actually surprised it took them this long to find out I was alive.”

Gabriel swallows hard, doubt still shading his expression.

“I’ve been thinking about leaving Blackmoor for a while now, Gabe. I’m okay with it. I just… don’t know how we’re going to do it. Do you even have a plan? I thought… maybe. But then you seem so deep in with the Devil’s Sons. I doubt Mark will let you go. Is that what you guys were talking about in the hall?”

To my surprise, a crooked grin spreads across Gabriel’s face. “Believe it or not, Idohave a plan. And that is what Mark and I were talking about. I’ve actually been considering it since the day I found out you were pregnant.”

“What is it? Why haven’t you mentioned it before?” I demand, suddenly offended that he would keep something from me, though a voice in the back of my head reminds me that I kept something as big as my pregnancy from him.

“Well, I wasn’t even sure you wanted to stay with me, so telling you about some half-baked plan Mark shot down already seemed pointless.”

“Wait,” I say, frowning. “I thought you said you have a plan. If Mark shot it down, then how is that a plan?”

Gabriel chuckles, deepening my frown into a scowl. Pulling me toward the bed, he forces me to sit on the edge of the bed as he faces me.

“Mark shot down my idea when I presented it to him that same day I found you at the clinic. But that was before Athena made it clear that you had to leave town. I told Mark I wouldn’t abandon you, that he had two choices. To either watch me leave the club… or let me start my own chapter.” Gabriel’s gaze holds my own as he watches me expectantly.

It takes a moment for the words to sink in. He’s confident he’s coming with me, which in and of itself is a relief to hear, though everything he’s done today has proven that to me time and again. But then I realize what he really means. He’s not just coming with me. He’s found a way to bring the Devil’s Sons with him. In a sense.

My chest constricts knowing he’s found a way to maintain his biker life and start a new life with me in a different town. At the same time as it relieves me to know he won’t have to go find a new job or find another way of making a living, I’m filled with the anxiety of knowing he’s still choosing the life he’s had. He’s accepting the risks, willing to perform less than honest work, putting his life on the line to be a Devil’s Son in a new location.

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat as I glance down at our clasped hands.

“I have a solution, Winter. Mark’s agreed to let me start my own chapter somewhere new. I can take care of you and provide for you and our baby. But… is that really the life you want?”

The vulnerability in his tone tugs at my heartstrings. I can hear it there. If I told him no, that I wanted a different life, one without him in it, that would destroy him. It’s a terrifying power, one that I think I’ve been avoiding all along.How am I supposed to do this? How can I make that decision?I love Gabriel. I know it deep in my bones that I want to be with him. I want to see him with our child in his arms and feel him wrapped around me every night as I fall asleep. But I know the risks that come with a biker’s life, and I just don’t think I could survive it if I said yes, if I accepted that lifestyle, and then I lost him.

Tears streamed down my face as the reality of it all comes crashing down around me.

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