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She chokes after one of those weird ice cream bites she does.
“Are you okay?”
Still coughing and patting her chest, she looks at me sideways and asks, “What do you think?”
“Shall I prepare to do the Heimlich, or will you live?” I ask, trying to disguise a smile.
“Oh, you think this is funny…” She clears her throat and says, “You caught me off guard. I didn’t expect to hear anything about you being nude.”
“You caught a visual?” I ask, eating more ice cream. It’s getting easier now since I’ve gotten her worked up.
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“I don’t need to. You’re doing enough of that for me.”
She takes a bite of her cone and asks, “Do youreallyswim in the nude?”
“I do. My house sits on a private beach, and if I don’t go to the beach, I have two pools – one heated, one not. You’ll get to see them one day.”
She mumbles something that sounds like,I doubt that, then bites the cone again.
“And while you’re swimming…naked…what happens if you run up on a jellyfish or something? Aren’t you afraid of getting stung in your you-know-what?”
“No, not at all. Those jellyfish know better than to mess with this electric eel. My man don’t play.”
“Omg…I almost wish I didn’t ask.”
Since this is what I’m supposed to be doing to prove myself to her, I finally decide to eat the rest of my ice cream, and she finishes her cone while we both take in the sights.
When I’m done, she says, “See, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?”
“No. Actually, it was pretty good. Now, tell me…have I satisfied your requirements so you know I’m serious?”
Walking back in the direction of the car, she says, “Not quite. One more test and then I’ll know.”
“This is getting out of hand.”
“Trust me—I’ve said that a million times about your behavior, so—”
“So, what sort of test am I to expect this time?” I inquire.
“One day at work next week, I’m going to interrupt your day and you have to roll with it—no angry outbursts, no questions asked. Just roll with it.”
“Why isn’tthisenough for you to believe me?”
“Because…you’re a different man at work—an insolent one. We’ve established that. If you pass the test at work, you’ll have me by your side as your personal attitude adjuster.”
“Fine. Whatever you want.”
“Good.”
As we near our vehicles, I realize she’s ready to end our time together, but I’m not ready to part ways with her – even after she made me eat ice cream. I’m sure she probably has other things to do in preparation for work in the morning as well as doing some work to organize her apartment, but still – I want her time.
She says, “All right, well, I’m going to head home now.”
“You drag me all the way out here for an hour, use and abuse me, and now you’re leaving?”
She smiles beautifully – one of those sunny smiles I’ll never forget. I’ve captured a picture of it in my mind and will store it there for eternity.
