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Chapter 11
Quintessa
I had all day Sunday tothink about this situation and I’m still in disbelief. I can’t believe Essex is actually Stewart. The dramatic change of appearance has me stumped. His body is out of this world amazing – so far from when we were in high school. Either way, I never cared about his size – he was amazing to me.
I remember when he and his family first moved to Florida – he wouldn’t talk to me – didn’t talk to anyone until I helped him pick up his books off the floor. I remember seeing him in the cafeteria. He didn’t have anywhere to sit. I waved him over to my table. It was the first time he smiled at me.
And we hit it off.
He seamlessly fit in with my circle of friends and they welcomed him because they saw how much I liked him. Why did I like him so much? Because he had a calm demeanor like my father. He was kind. Considerate. He was what most boys weren’t back then and I naturally gravitated toward him. As I recall, he was always obsessed about his weight – said he was teased constantly at his old school back in Detroit and his parents had to move. They were trying to save him from being bullied. Those stupid kids weren’t fully aware of what they were doing to another person by poking fun at him constantly. They did quite the number on Stewart. I’m sure that’s why, as an adult, he decided to change his appearance and get in shape. He wanted to become someone else because the old version of him wasn’t accepted. He had to transform – reinvent himself. It’s a decision he made for himself – to better himself. I can’t be mad at that. I’m more upset about the pretense. I feel like he’s made a fool of me.
That’s why I didn’t want to show up at the office when Monday rolled around, but I came anyway. I can’t quit on my team because of this. Besides, I was off most of last week.
When I arrive at my desk, there’s a vase of red roses waiting with a little card attached. My stomach flutters. I know who they’re from.
Zahara says, “Oooh, let me find out Tez done got herself a man.”
“Those are gorgeous,” Greta says. “Whoever he is, he ain’t cheap.”
“Who are they from, Tez?” Zahara inquires.
“Y’all leave Tez alone,” Mauve says, retying the shoestring on her boots while smacking on gum early this morning. “She has a right to keep her lovers under wraps.”
“Lovers, Mauve?” I clarify. What would make her go there?
After blowing a large bubble and popping it, she peels it off her lips and shoves it back in her mouth, then says, “Hey, I don’t judge.”
“Yeah, stop being nosy, Zahara,” Jake adds.
“I was just asking,” Zahara responds.
“Well, I’d rather not say who they’re from, but they’re not from alover,” I answer. I pull the card, open it, and written in some fancy cursive are the words,I’m sorry.
I glance around at the team and they’re all looking at me – waiting for a reaction.
Greta says, “Get to work guys and leave Quintessa and her secret admirer alone.”
Once everyone is back at their desks and minding their business, I reread the card.
I’m sorry.
He didn’t sign his name or anything.
Essex to Quintessa: hi
He must’ve been waiting for me to log onto my workstation. I knew this was coming. I thought he’d come down here to the sixth floor and hand pluck me to be seen in his office. I guess he’s taking a different approach after everything that happened on Saturday.
I reread his message. I don’t feel up to talking or typing to him right now. This isn’t just a cut-and-dry type of deal. This is very emotional for me. Stewart was my world for three and a half years of my teenage life. The way we parted has always tortured me. It’s why I went back to find him after I graduated. I wanted to rekindle our friendship, hoping it could grow into something more. I could have never imagined something like this – that he’d changed so much I wouldn’t recognize him by his appearance or his personality. The man I used to love is no more.
I look at the roses and shake my head. Taking a breath, I give myself a talk.
You can’t be up in this office crying. Pull it together, Quintessa.
So, I pull it together. Part of me holding it together means having no contact with Essex, so I close the messenger window and move on to my emails. I see a few from Shanice and as I start reading the first one, I get another message.
Essex to Quintessa: how are you?
I want to respond and say something, but what am I supposed to say at this point? What do you say to a person who intentionally deceived you, and yet you still feel deeply for them?
