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I don’t reply, I reach for the card he holds out but then he pulls it back at the last second.
“What can I do?” he asks sadly. “Tell me what to do to make everything okay again.”
“Erase my past,” I reply, “until then, I’ll never forgive you.”
“I love you.” His tone is pleading. “You have to know that much is true.”
“I hope it’s true, because then maybe, just maybe you’ll feel a fraction of the pain I feel when I never speak to you again.”
He shakes his head, a somber look pulling together his thick brows while pursing his lips.
“Give me the card, Stanley.”
“Why do you need it?”
“Because it’s the only thing I have left to live for.”
He hands it over at last and holds back whatever it is that he looks like he needs to say. “I’m so sorry, Scandal.”
My heart pangs at the desperation in his voice and even I’m not immune to it. I love him and Lane, or the version of them I thought I knew. As much as I wish for their pain, I also don’t want them to feel it. It’s so conflicting.
“I know you are,” I breathe, feeling my lip tremble. “But that’s not my name anymore.”
Then I turn and walk away, towards the trailer with the new backpack I picked up in New Orleans slung over my shoulder.
It’s unlocked when I arrive but empty, and there’s a note on the table waiting for me.
“Went to school. Worried about you. Call me. Don’t do anything rash.
I love you.
P”
His handwriting is a disaster. I love that. I smile and clutch the note tight.
I head into the bedroom where I left Presley sleeping this morning and recall the feel of my hand in his hair, my lips on his skin, his arm around me. If only Carter could have been here too, maybe I’d have been able to say a proper goodbye.
Chances are I’m not coming back. My uncle will have me locked away or worse. I’ll likely anger his fucked-up descendants in this chain of child abuse. Or I’ll die, but funnily enough, I’m okay with that. Maybe it’s that freaky red crystal talking for me, giving me the courage I need to take these final steps to justice.
I sit at the table, pen in hand and in neater scrawl I leave the guys a note.
“You changed my entire life, giving me the strength I need to go on and change the lives of others. I’m going against my uncle because apart from the both of you, I don’t have anything left and I think this is why. I’ve been selfish for too long. I’ve been silent for too long. And in the meantime his other victims are still suffering. I’ve been a coward.
I’m sorry I can’t dance with you anymore.
I’m sorry I couldn’t choose, but the truth of it is, I love you both. I guess being selfish doesn’t end just because you will it so. Letting you both go fucking sucks. We were great together as a three.
All my love… I need a new name.”
I pack my bag with the necessary things as I bring my phone to my ear.
“Talk to me.”
“Mackenzie?” I ask, wishing it’s her.
“I was hoping you’d call.” She sounds relieved.
I sigh heavily, finding the courage to go on. “I’m ready.”
“You are?”
I nod even though she can’t see me. “It’s time.”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
I hang up, look around the trailer once more, smell my beautiful roses and then place them on top of the note. The petals have already started to wilt and my stem has new thorns around the bottom.
“Magic is incredible,” I whisper and touch the note one more time.
“Wait,” Stanley calls when I’m about to climb into Mackenzie’s Prius. He dips his hand into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash and starts to count it, but then just decides to hold the entire thing out to me. “Take it.”
“I won’t need it where I’m going.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he asks, visibly horrified. I slam the car door closed. “What the fuck does that mean, SCANDAL?”
Mackenzie puts her foot down before he can rip my door open.
“Thanks for coming,” I tell Mackenzie, buckling myself in with the box on my lap and my bag in the footwell between my shins.
“That’s the evidence?” she asks and I nod. “Thank you for trusting me.”
“I don’t, but I’ve seen your articles and the things you’ve done… you’re the only person I know to give this to other than Dr. Conway and she’s busy saving lives right now.”
We pull up to her motel room less than an hour later and head inside. It’s not the fanciest place but it looks clean enough. Not that I’m a snob, I’ll sleep anywhere there’s clean bedding. Not that I’m staying here. I’m not sure what I’m doing after this. I just have a feeling my uncle will be in touch before the night is out and I’ll be heading somewhere. This is why we’re doing a video testimony, just in case. Same as with Dr. Conway.
