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If our genetic code was different, how much of a stretch would it be to say we were closer to wolf than human, regardless of our form? This situation had become so much more than I’d ever expected it to. I thought we’d come here and save Hank and make our way home again, unchanged.
Now I was worried about the future of every werewolf, not just the ones in my pack. Tensions all over the country were running high since we’d been revealed. Deerling might be the poster child of a whole movement, and I didn’t want to be responsible for setting that ball rolling.
“Before we make him disappear, people need to know.”
“And if it doesn’t work? Because it probably won’t work, you know.”
“Gee, thanks. Your vote of confidence is really making me feel good over here.”
“If I was trying to make you feel good, you’d know it.” He paused. I blushed. “I’m trying to talk some sense into you.”
I let out a rough laugh. “You must not have a lot of experience with McQueens.”
“The learning curve is steep. I’m figuring it out fast.”
“Listen.” I turned towards him, allowing myself to look at him dead-on finally. “You don’t have to come. If you want to go to the station and wait for Hank with Cash and Matt, I understand. We came here to help your brother, and I know you want to see him get home safe. I’m giving you an out.”
“You’re giving yourself an out. You don’t want to be responsible for anyone else.”
I shook my head firmly. “If that’s what you think, you haven’t been paying attention. I want to be responsible for everyone. And I can’t put that on you. You can save Hank and go home feeling accomplished. I can’t leave here unless I know my whole pack is going to be okay.”
He stared at me for so long I worried I might have said something terribly wrong. The air between us felt alive, electric, and the way he looked at me made my skin burn in a way no magic ever had.
Just when I thought he was going to speak, he kissed me.
It happened so quickly his lips were already on mine before I knew he’d moved. He cupped the back of my head with both hands, and I gasped into his open mouth. When his tongue grazed my lower lip, I braced my hand against his chest, but instead of pushing him back I balled his cotton T-shirt into my palm.
My whole body shuddered from the intensity of just one kiss. Blood pounded in my ears, and my skin broke out in goose bumps. I let myself kiss him for one long, slow, hungry moment, then shoved him back. Wrenched free of his grip, I was left panting, putting both hands on the dash so I wasn’t tempted to touch him again.
He licked his swollen lips and took a shaky breath.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
“Uh-huh.” Words were too much right then. I couldn’t tell him it was okay. It wasn’t okay. He had crossed the line, but I had smudged it out with my toe. No one was faultless in this, and just knowing that made me feel guilty.
“Actually I’m not.”
I looked at him, holding tight to the dash. I would not, could not touch him. “We can’t.”
He shook his head. “We can. And we will. Because as nice a guy as Cash is, he’s not supposed to be your guy, and we both know it.” Wilder’s hands shook when he started the car and turned us away from town, towards the church. “And if you think I’m going to let a lady who kisses like that walk into certain death alone, you’ve got another thing coming, understand?”
Chapter Thirty
The church lot was empty, but we parked on the side of the highway and walked back. I was careful to stay a few paces ahead of Wilder, which was easier said than done considering his longer legs and my terrible secondhand shoes.
But if I was next to him, I’d be worried about accidentally touching him. And if he was in the lead, I’d probably be staring at his butt instead of thinking about what we had to do next. Now I was just thinking about not thinking about his butt.
So
much better.
As we crossed into the parking lot, the smell of gardenia and magnolias hung over us like a sweet umbrella. I was never going to be able to enjoy those flowers again as long as I lived.
We skirted around the outside perimeter, and I made sure to step on every wolfsbane plant I could find. Purple blossoms were mashed into the cedar shavings around the bushes. When I was satisfied by my small act of rebellion, I grabbed the biggest rock I could carry—which was pretty big considering I could hoist my own body weight—and made a beeline for the church.
Wilder, who had held back to this point, whispered, “Isn’t it a regulation that churches need to be open to the public twenty-four-seven or something? Maybe we should try the door?”
“I’ve never heard that rule.” I kept going and got to the entrance, eyeing the floor-to-ceiling glass. My reflection glinted back at me, and the girl in the window looked a little insane.
