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“He hasn’t done that yet?” Quinn complains, making me roll my eyes.
“No, I haven’t done that yet,” I mutter, and all eyes at the table are on me. Dean even puts his latch hook down to stare at me in shock. “I don’t even know what weare! Are we dating? Are we keeping it casual? Is it just sex? Are we friends with benefits? Will I sound like an idiot if I ask her? I don’t know anything!”
Now, I’m sweating, and my heart is racing as soon as I say what I’ve been keeping to myself ever since the night of our first date. We spend every waking moment together. We eat together, we sleep in the same bed together, she lets me hang out with her in the garage and watch her paint, we text each other whenever we’re not together, and we sneak away to make out when we’re up at the bowling alley together. Not to mention all the disrespectful things she lets me do to her body. And I know it’s not exactly cool to ask a woman what we are and where this is going, but I just want to knowwhat the hell we are and where the hell this is going!
Spencer is a good friend, and he’s easy to talk to. But all he keeps telling me to do is screw her until I get bored. And I know that willneverhappen. Plus, he avoids love like the plague. Talking to him about the possibility that I’m falling in love with Danny would be pointless. There’s no better people to talk about this with than my new friends, and I feel like they’re the best people to give me the best advice about this situation.
“I can’t stop thinking about her,” I keep going with my word vomit while Quinn is completely silent on the phone, and everyone else stares at me with bated breath, not moving a muscle, waiting for me to continue. “More specifically, I can’t stop thinking about being inside of her, and I’m inside of herall the freaking time! I feel like a beast who could leap tall buildings and pick up a car with one hand every time she has an orgasm. I can’t touch her enough, I can’t kiss her enough, I can’t screw her hard enough to make this ache in my chest go away, and every single second I spend with her makes me feel like someone drugged me.”
I jerk my head in Bodhi’s direction. “Is this what it’s like being high? Feeling so disoriented and like you have no freaking clue what’s going on, while also feeling so warm and fuzzy that you just want to curl up and die from happiness?”
Bodhi reaches under the table down by his feet and pulls up a familiar Tupperware container, sliding it across the table to me until I stop it with my hand.
“You should get high and calm down, because you’retotesin love with her, my dude.” He chuckles.
“Yep, you’re a goner.” Dean nods.
“Definitely past the point of no return,” Palmer adds.
“No, he shouldnotget high.” Shepherd rolls his eyes and pulls the container away from me. “He should just tell Danny how he feels. I’ve seen you two around town the last few weeks. If that woman is not in love with you, I will never pick up another baseball or bat again and never coach another game.”
My heart starts racing so fast I feel a little lightheaded. “I don’t know how she feels or what she wants, and I don’t know what to do.” I sigh, rubbing my hand against the stupid ache in my chest.
Loving Emily was as easy as breathing. She was sweet, and nice to me, and one of my best friends—who definitely only dated me because she felt sorry for me. But it took me a very long time before I realized I wasn’t actuallyinlove with her. She never made me nervous, she never made my heart pound every time she looked at me, she never made me count down the seconds until I could see her again, and she never made me feel wild, and free, and like I could do anything I wanted.
Being in love with Danny—because, let’s face it, Itotesam—scares the heck out of me. But maybe that’s how I know it’s real. If something is worth doing in life, itshouldmake you a little nervous and excited. And Danny is worth it all.
“Well, what should he do, boys?” Bodhi asks the group.
“Don’t pretend it’s just a fling.” Dean sighs.
“Don’t act like she’s just a friend,” Palmer grumbles.
“Definitely don’t stop talking to her for a year, then just show up out of the blue, acting like you weren’t an asshole,” Shepherd adds.
“Don’t fake date her and make her think it’sallfake,” Quinn says through the speaker phone.
“Just keep fucking the hell out of her with your monster cock until she comes around. And make sure you always have a fire extinguisher close at hand.” Bodhi shrugs, making Palmer scoop up a handful of popcorn from a bowl and throw it at his face.
Reaching over and grabbing the Tupperware container Shepherd pulled in front of him, I lift the lid and stare down at what looks like regular chocolate chip cookies.
“Maybe I should get high.”
“Yes!” Bodhi cheers, throwing his fists up in the air.
“I don’t know about this…,” Shepherd trails off, his eyes darting nervously between my face and the cookie I just pulled out of the container.
“Bodhi’s right. I need to relax.”
“Have you ever even been high before?” Palmer questions, biting his bottom lip and staring at me nervously when I take a bite. It tastes just like a chocolate chip cookie, with a little bit of a weird, earthy, after-taste that isn’t horrible.
“I took Tylenol with Codeine once when I sprained my wrist a few years ago.” I shrug, taking another bite of the cookie. “That was fun.”
“Oh, Jesus… Danny’s gonna kill us and never let you come over to play with us again,” Shepherd complains.
My anxiety immediately floats away, and I’m not sure if it’s because these guys are all just so nice to me and fun to be around, or I’m already starting to feel this cookie.
How long does it take for one of these things to kick in anyway?
