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CHAPTER10
ISABEL
Azar sits at the head of the table. Donya sits on one side of him, Ziba on the other. Maryam is next to Donya, and I sit across from her, next to Ziba. Then Rostam sits beside me, his two wives sitting across from him finishing our dinner party.
Donya had a hissy fit when Rostam refused to sit at the other end of the table across from Azar. As a man, especially as the head of the Mafia, he should have had the place at the head of the table out of respect, but he refused.
I think he refused because he wanted to sit next to me and talk without being too suspicious. It probably doesn’t matter, because I have a feeling that Azar is going to be completely focused on his new hopeful bride.
The first round of food arrives. I’m honestly not hungry. All I can think about is Ruslan, is tomorrow, is hope for the future, but the reality that it won’t actually happen. That it’s just a dream and I’ll actually be stuck here, in this house with these three women, and the troll that is Azar until the day he finally gets tired of me.
“Have you thought about the future?” Rostam asks on a whisper.
Pressing my lips together, I roll them a few times, then turn to look at him, giving him a small smile. “Does it matter what I think?” I ask. “What I want?”
His lips curve up and he lets out a chuckle. “It can,” he says softly. “If you want to stay, you can. Nobody will have to know anything.”
I actually know exactly what he’s referring to—Ruslan. He means that nobody will have to know about him. The thought of keeping Ruslan a secret for the rest of my life makes my heart hurt.
I’ve fallen for him.
It was easy to do, and I don’t even know how he truly feels about me. He keeps everything inside, he doesn’t show me much, but then again, I haven’t been able to tell or show him anything myself.
My eyes widen and I stare at him, my eyes watering as I do. I want to tell him a million things, but I know that every word I say can be scrutinized by any of the people surrounding me. Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out slowly, and focus on Rostam.
“If I could choose, I would choose him,” I whisper.
“Ruslan?” he asks under his breath.
“Yes, but I am not sure he would choose me.”
“You know that it will cause problems, yes?”
Nodding my head, I look over to Azar, who is focused on his new woman. Maryam and Donya are completely focused on one another and Ziba simultaneously.
Actually, her arriving is perfect, because it will take their focus off of me and onto her. I hate that for her since it’s clear she doesn’t deserve their hate as far as I know, but it’s nice not to have it on me for a minute.
“I do,” I admit.
“You’re willing to fight?”
Pressing my lips together, I roll them a few times, then let out a sigh. “I’ve been fighting since I was sixteen years old,” I say.
“You’re a good person, Isa,” he says.
My heart squeezes when he calls me Isa. That’s what Ruslan calls me. God, it’s sexy too. I love it when he calls me Isa. Nobody else has ever called me that before, but the way that Ruslan says it, my entire body ignites.
“What happens now?” I ask.
He chuckles. “Just live your life, Isa. What is meant to be will be.”
I don’t know what he means by that, but I don’t get to ask either, because he calls out to Azar and starts to talk to him. I focus on my food, I become instantly obsessed with it and I wonder what Rostam is going to do. What he’s going to say to Azar. I also wonder if this is just a hope and dream and not reality.
I send a silent prayer to whoever is listening, I hope that I can find peace, that I can be with Ruslan, because he is who I want. Who I need. Who I desire. If I can’t, then I will do what I’ve always done. I will make the best of my life and just accept whatever is given to me.
RUSLAN
Osip’s eyesfind mine and he chuckles. It’s clear that he knows my decision has been made. Though I think that he has always known my decision. He didn’t even really have to ask or demand or order it—not really. As soon as he discovered my secret affair, he knew that I would keep her for myself.
