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CHAPTER24
RUSLAN
Azar is alive. He’s alive and he attacks me. I reach out, punching him until he hits the ground, then I straddle him and wrap my hands around his throat. This man is going to die tonight. All over again. Then he slaps me, not only once, but what feels like a dozen times.
My eyes finally open and I blink as I look down at Azar. Except it’s not Azar. It’s Isabel and I’m choking her. Immediately, I release my grip on her neck. She sucks in a deep breath, coughing, but I don’t move, I can’t.
I stare down at her, unbelieving that I’ve just done what I have. My lips are parted as I stare at her with widened eyes. Scrambling off of her, I practically jump off of the bed, turning to look down at her.
“What the fuck,” I rasp. “What the fuck.”
Isabel is still coughing and wheezing as I just stare down at her being completely fucking useless. I almost killed her. I don’t stay in the room a second longer. I feel fucking stuck. I could have killed her.
Turning away, I run out of the room, jogging toward the back door. Sliding it open, I step into the yard, placing my hands on my knees as I try to suck in a deep breath. It doesn’t come.
I am sucking air.
I can’t catch my breath.
I am panting.
Unable to hold myself up any longer, my ass hits the ground and I pinch my eyes closed. Lifting my palms to my face, I press them against my eyes, and I let out a moan. I don’t know how long I sit there, but it’s long enough that the sun has come up and it’s no longer dawn, but full-on daylight.
Then I hear the door slide open and closed behind me. I don’t turn around. I know that it’s her and I can’t bear to face her. I can’t do it. Then I feel her sink down to her ass next to me. Glancing over, I watch as she crosses her legs, still wearing my shirt before she slips her arm around mine.
“I was going to kill you,” I say softly after sitting in silence for far too long.
She turns to me. I can feel her gaze burning a hole into the side of my face, but I don’t turn to look at her. I can’t look at her. If I do, then I might fucking break.
“Did you think you were choking me?” she asks, her voice all soft and raspy.
I did that. I hurt her. Fuck me. I’m a piece of shit. I shouldn’t be allowed to live any longer. I’m not against hurting people who deserve it, but Isabel doesn’t deserve shit. She has been hurt enough in this life.
“I didn’t. I thought that I was choking Azar,” I admit.
I don’t say anything and neither does she. We both sit outside until the sun’s beating rays are too much to handle. Only then do I stand and hold out my hand for her. I still don’t look in her eyes, at her face, I can’t. Holding out my hand for her, she slips her palm in mine before I help her stand to her feet.
“You didn’t hurt me on purpose. It was an accident,” she calls out softly.
Only then do I finally chance taking a look at her face. Instantly, my gaze flicks to her throat and I grimace.Fuck. I did that to her. I hurt her. Lifting my hand, I touch my fingertips to her throat and stroke the bruising gently.
“I did hurt you. I don’t deserve to live. I hurt you.”
“Ruslan,” she breathes. “Don’t.”
“How do I not?” I ask.
She wraps her hand around my wrist, then turns her head and touches the palm of my hand with her lips. She stays there before she shifts and leans her cheeks against my palm. She doesn’t speak right away, but she doesn’t have to. I don’t think that I would want to hear it anyway.
“Because you didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s been stressful and you were sleeping.”
I make a silent vow never to fall asleep next to her again. This will never happen again.Fuck. I feel goddamn sick about it all. As if she hasn’t suffered enough, now she has to deal with wondering if I’m going to try and kill her in her sleep or not.
ISABEL
Ruslan hasn’t slept.I only know because neither have I. He is scared to sleep, but he shouldn’t be. He didn’t hurt me on purpose. He didn’t want to hurt me. It was a dream. Just a dream. Only a dream.
He gives up the fight and throws the comforter off of the bed and quietly slips out of the bed and bedroom. When he’s gone, the door closing behind him, I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling.
