AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Isabel.”
Fuck.
ISABEL
Soaking in the tub,I close my eyes and just relax for a moment. I let the day just wash away. I try not to think about Ruslan, but I fail. Closing my eyes, I allow thoughts of him to enter my mind. The way he touches me, the way he cares for me. Everything about him.
I’ve only ever been with two men. Azar and then Ruslan. I don’t know what sex is really supposed to feel like, but I know that when I’m with Ruslan, I feel beautiful, cared for, and even sexy. When I’m with Azar, I feel forced, used, and disgusting.
I sigh, wishing that I could transport myself to another world, to another time, to Ruslan. I know that I should stay away from him. Nothing can ever become anything with him. I need to just accept the fact that I will be Azar’s third wife until the day that I die. His fuck toy. Because that is what I am.
I am not going to have his children. I am not going to be any kind of traditional wife. I am nothing more than a body for him to use. That is why he contracted me, that is why he requires me to be on birth control. That is the whole reason I’m here.
To pleasure him.
I’m his whore.
Pulling the drain plug in my bathtub upward, I watch as the water swirls around and leaves the tub until I’m naked in nothingness. Bringing my bent legs to my chest, I rest my cheek against my knees and close my eyes again, letting out a long sigh.
The bathroom door opens. My eyes pop open and instantly my heart starts to race at the sight of the man standing in front of me. My husband. I breathe his name at the same time his lips curve up into a grin.
“Let me shower and you put on something sexy for me, yeah?”
I nod my head, not saying a word, because I learned a long time ago that this man does not want my words. He wants me to dress up like a pretty doll and he wants to fuck me. That is all, nothing more, nothing less.
Standing, I reach for the towel and wrap it around my body as I step out of the bathtub. I don’t get far. Azar reaches out, his hand wrapping around my bicep. Turning to look at him, I tilt my head back and look up into his eyes.
He looks absolutely nothing like Ruslan. He looks void. Empty.Terrifying. Which is how tonight will end. It will end in my tears, but Azar won’t give a shit, just like always. He will consider it a triumph—as always.
“Azar?” I ask on a whisper.
“Do you know why I decided Maryam would carry my next child?” he asks.
I couldn’t give a shit less, but this is important to him. Instead of laughing in his face and telling him that I don’t give a fuck why he chose her. I’m just glad that it wasn’t me, because I do not want to have his babies, not now and not ever.
“Why?” I finally ask when he doesn’t say anything right away.
His thumb starts to caress my bicep as he looks into my eyes. His gaze is still completely vacant, and I want to almost cry because he’s nothing like I would ever want. He’s not Ruslan at all, not even a little.
“I’ll never ruin you that way, Isabel. Your body, it’s for pleasure. To please me. I will never do that to you.”
God, what a colossal asshole. I don’t tell him that though. Instead, I just give him a small smile, which is what I know he loves. He wants me to be absolutely nothing except willing, waiting, and able for him in any way.
Lifting my hand, I cup his cheek. “How can this be so perfect?” I ask, lying. I’m saying what he wants to hear, I know that I am, and it makes me sick to my stomach to even utter the words to him.
His lips curve up into a small smile. “I knew you would feel the same way,” he rasps. “I’ll have to spend a bit more time with Maryam on her days, but I just want you to know that I would choose you, Isabel. Always, I would choose you.”
Fuck, I wish that he wouldn’t. I wish that he wouldn’t want to knock me up and at the exact same time that he wouldn’t want to use me as a fuck toy. It doesn’t matter what I want though. Nothing matters except for the choices Azar makes for me, and the little snippets of happiness I steal with Ruslan.
