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"I'm sure they say that to you because it sounds more manly than admitting they play video games in all their spare time or telling you they're really into watching medical dramas. Exercise seems like a safe answer. And it probably works with a decent number of girls, if they keep using it."
I scoffed. "Video games and TV bingeing are way more interesting."
"To you," he pointed out. "Not everyone is you."
"Thanks, Captain Obvious."
"You're welcome, Miss Old Insult."
"Old insult? Captain Obvious is a classic," I protested.
"It's not."
"Then what's the new version of it?"
Jesse shrugged. "No idea. I never claimed to be hip—I just said it's outdated."
"Well that's not exactly helpful, is it?" I gave him an exasperated look.
"I never claimed to be helpful." He walked over with my mug of coffee and a slight grin.
"You say that, as you serve me coffee and make me eggs." I took the mug, curling my fingers around the warm glass.
"Technically I'm doing that for me. If I don't feed you, you're going to keep bullying me." His widening grin told me he was teasing. "And if I don't feed you then eventually you'll starve to death because of your terrible eating habits. Assuming you starve to death, I'd be out a mate, which would mean a life of loneliness."
"Wow. Thanks for pointing that out." I nodded, sipping the coffee in my mug. I'd started to actually like the taste of it—something I hadn't expected could happen. "I'll remind myself of that next time you try to cuddle with me."
He nodded. "Good call."
Twenty minutes of egg-cracking and stirring later, he set a popcorn bowl full of scrambled eggs in front of me. Bacon and toast were tucked up against the sides of the bowl, framing the assload of eggs.
"This is what I've come to?" I asked in despair, as my stomach growled loudly.
"Yup. You can thank me for that, too." He sat beside me with his own bowl of eggs. Though it was large, it was probably a third of the size of mine. "Dig in, Teapot."
