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I knew with Seb and Ryan; it was before then. I guess I fell for Seb the very first night I met him.
Even Carter.
My god, I loved Carter when I was younger. Playing together as young children until the day when it all changed. Changed from being friends to friends that kissed. I was only eleven years old then, and Carter was a year older.
We’d been messing around in the forest. He dragged me along to play hide-and-seek and I got lost because I ran as fast as I could to find a good hiding place. Only it was too good and it seemed like hours before he found me, and being in there petrified me, which seems rather funny because of who I am. But it was so dark and eerie in there and I sat with my back against the trunk of a tree trying to gain an ounce of bravery and make a run for it.
With my head in my hands as I wept, a rustle of dry leaves being scrunched underfoot quickened my heartbeat, but instead of curling up in a ball, to make myself small. I stood tall and my panic turned into something much different.
I readied myself, ready to fight. Ready to use what I’d learned and protect myself. It was the strangest feeling because my fear disappeared without a thought, as I waited to protect myself.
Then he called my name and looking back, it was a bloody good job. I dread to think what I would have done to Carter, had he not.
I showed myself and Carter ran to me, picking me up and spinning me around. I smiled and pecked at his lips. His face was aghast. This girl had kissed this boy, and you’d have thought I punched his face.
I apologised, explained I was scared and it was to thank him and nothing more.
Of course, it wasn’t.
But I couldn’t tell him that. Then he lowered my body down into his arms and I waited for my feet to touch the floor, but they didn’t. He stopped when our faces were next to each other and kissed me back.
And it wasn’t the longest kiss, but it was the moment I fell in love with him. But it was two years after that before I got to kiss his lips again.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, and tears stung as they silently fell from my eyes. Had the kingdom ruined everything between us? Yes, Clay wanted to make it better by showing me my genuine memories, but nothing could change the fact I now loved more than Carter.
And that wasn’t normal, but it could never be only us again.
I peeled off my Capri style black trousers and plain white top because having a shower or bath would be the only thing to help me think straight. That and staying in my room because I didn’t want to go back to where they were arguing and add fuel to the already simmering fire.
Was it always going to be like this?
Was having four knights around me going to be one massive and lingering headache? Regardless, I couldn’t lose them now, but was that as my knights or something more? I’d told Clay they were mine, and they were.
Whether I liked it, or not—but I did like it.
I didn’t quite know how it was going to work out,or if it could, but damn, I was going to try.
I just hoped they would try too.
I realised I forgot to run the bath as I mulled over my feelings and I now couldn’t wait for the tub to fill. A warm shower, music and comfy pyjamas. I could deal with everything else in the morning.
“Hey Google, play music on Spotify.”
I specified nothing, just wanted a relaxing shower and be able to forget the concerns of what was going on downstairs and get it out of my mind.
Music billowed from the ceiling speakers. I turned on the shower in my en-suite and waited for the water to heat behind the glass. Taking tentative steps, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get a sudden burst of icy water on my skin.
I sighed a breath of relief as steam encompassed the bathroom and within a couple of minutes I was not thinking of anything but getting clean and enjoying my relaxing shower. After cleaning and washing my hair, I tilted my head back and put my hands on the shower wall, letting the warmth run over my body and hair like a waterfall.
My ears pricked to the sounds of footsteps striding with a heaviness up the staircase and then as they walked along the landing. The deep stomping sounded as though the person was still unhappy about the events that had come out tonight.
I sighed and zoned out again, feeling the soothing whisper of water drift over my skin. I was so relaxed I could fall asleep standing with my arms outstretched and listened to the music again. Humming along because I recognised the tune but didn’t know the words.
“Can I join you?”
My head spun to one side and my heart beat thundered in my chest. “Jesus, Seb. I didn’t hear you come in.”
He grinned. “Too busy trying to sing.”
