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Two men come out of the door with the rectangle. I’m about to ask them which way to go when they share a look.
“Are you lost?” one of them asks. Next to him is a man with a hat that shades his eyes. They both look familiar.
“I—uh—which is the door to the washroom?”
“All the toilets are blocked,” Hat Man says. “There are more on the level below. We’ll take you there.”
I nod, still racking my brain about where I know them from.
They open a third door, one that has no shapes on it. We go through and descend down a flight of stairs. The air around us is cool and quiet.
I calm down with each step, away from the overwhelming noises and smells back in the dining hall.
The two men in front of me are not saying anything, and the one with the hat pulls out his phone, stopping in place. I stop, too, but the other man doesn’t.
“It’s just over here,” he says, signaling for me to follow.
I step forward and go two steps down before the world goes dark and I trip. The smell of new cotton clothes hits my nostrils and I flare my arms, trying to regain balance. Something—someone—catches me, restricting all my movements.
The air leaves my lungs as I’m hoisted up. I remember two things then: first, these two people were in all of the clothing bazaars we went to. They watched the movie with us too, although they entered a lot later and missed the part where the woman about to be in love spilled her drink all over the man who would kiss her later; and second, Ben told me to scream.
I inhale and scream. The sound echoes in the empty space, but the freedom of my voice lasts mere moments before something soft and damp is pressed to my face, forcing the black fabric covering my head to go inside my mouth.
I try to scream and flail more, this unfamiliar ritual scaring me beyond belief. Then I feel light, and my safe space opens to me, golden stalks of rye inviting me in. I step into the cozy field, and the world disappears.
Chapter 22
Ilook at Jenya’s unfinished meal and sigh. I was hoping it would blow her mind, in a good way, but I don’t think she liked it. I bet she thinks she hid her emotions well, but her stone face was too perfectly arranged. She tried to hide so much that her expression was stilted and forced.
“Do you think she will like the donuts?” I ask Ben as I stuff the last of my fries in my mouth.
“Who doesn’t?” He grins, oblivious to how Jenya didn’t like any of the food she tried. “Hey, about what happened at the cinema—”
“Let’s not talk about it.” I avert my eyes. Me coming all over Ben’s hand wasn’t something I would have anticipated in a thousand years. But it was dark and warm, safe. His flirty way of repeating whatever was happening on screen was just like the Ben from years ago—carefree, playful, sexy. And a glimpse into what could be between us but probably never will.
I’ve never been normal; the circumstances of my birth ensured it, and after that my life was one train wreck after another. So when it comes to Ben, the only mystery is whether I will take him on my next train wreck with me, or he willbethe train wreck. In any case, we crash and burn.
“Fine. But for the record, I loved it and I think we should do it again. Maybe with fewer clothes.” He waggles his brows at me.
“It was great, but it’s not happening again. I’m still mad at you.” I scowl, but my heart isn’t in it. I’m full of food, had an orgasm, and bought a pretty dress. I’m in a rare good mood and I plan to stay in it as long as I can.
“Don’t you think Jenya is taking too long?” Ben asks.
He’s still looking at the doorway leading to the washroom. Ever since she left, he’s not taken his eyes off it.
“Maybe she’s doing a number two.” I pile all our rubbish and leftover food on one of the trays, sliding the box of donuts Ben’s way. “We’re done here anyway. Let’s go check on her.”
Two minutes later, we’re strolling past the crowd of rushing shoppers. Ben has the box of donuts and the look of them makes my mouth water. But I want Jenya to have the first pick, so I restrain myself.
When I get to the women’s bathroom, there’s no one inside. A tiny stab of panic pierces my heart and I take a deep breath, refusing to jump to the worst conclusion.
“She’s not here. Maybe she went into the men’s?” I grab the donuts from Ben and push him toward the other bathroom door.
My heart pounds in my chest as I wait for them both to come out of there, alive and embarrassed. But it’s only Ben who comes out, with a grave expression.
“She never came out. I was looking. The only way she could have gone is down the stairs.” He points to the door behind me.
“I will rip her a new one when we catch up to her,” I say through gritted teeth. How dare she ruin my perfect day. “What is she thinking, running off on her own?”
