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Bingo.
“Help me! Help me, please. He will kill me!” I put on my whiniest voice.
There’s whispering on the other side, then the lock clicks, the door slowly inching open.
Ben and I are both standing with our shelves ready near the door, so when the man opens it fully, he will see an empty room. He will be forced to enter, and we’ll attack.
That’s the plan and it almost unfolds like it’s supposed to.
The moment we see a man’s back in the middle of the room, we push the door closed behind him and rain uncoordinated blows on him.
My palms hurt from where the shelf digs into my skin, and my arms burn from the exertion of hitting him over and over again. At some point, I feel arms around my waist, pulling me back.
“Stop. He’s out,” Ben whispers in my ear.
I shoot him a feral look, ready to turn on him in the heat of the moment. He doesn’t let me go and I remember where I am and what we’re doing. It would be great if I stopped losing my shit like this.
“Hey, what’s going on?” A second guy is trying to push inside, but we’re ready for him. Or at least I am.
Ben unleashes me onto him and I pry the door open from his hand. He’s startled long enough for me to raise my foot and kick him in the groin. He flinches, his arms going straight to the sore spot. Big mistake. I swing the shelf, knocking him clean out with a blow.
The tension that has been building in the past few weeks, from being unsure what to do with the flyer, to meeting Ben again and getting to know Jenya, suddenly eases its hold on my chest and lungs. As I walk over the body on the floor, I don’t even check if I’ve done fatal damage.
I made it out. With the power brimming at my fingertips, my muscles primed and ready, I know that if I see Koschei now, I will split his skull in two and watch his brains spill out without a second thought.
“Let’s go find Jenya.” Ben’s shaky voice brings me back to reality.
I look at his shelf, which has significantly less blood on it, and my cheeks flush.
“I’m sorry. I got too angry,” I say.
“It happens. What’s important is that we’re free. Continue with the plan?” He puts a tentative hand on my shoulder. After I don’t move away, he gives me a little stroke, then lets go. The small touch grounds me, reminding me of the very real embarrassment I feel because of my murderous urges.
“Yes.” I nod.
“Let’s check if these two have phones.” Ben crouches down and starts going through the men’s pockets, mercifully not telling me if they’re alive or dead. I wouldn’t like either of the options.
I don’t want to touch them, so I look around. We’re at what looks like a field converted to a military base or something similarly drab and regimented. There are a few small buildings and a graveled path connecting them like a maze. I can’t see any more guards, but as my eyes sweep over the distance, I see a group of people, maybe three or four, coming this way. They’re walking slowly, as if they’re on a stroll.
I press my back to the nearest wall and watch them, a feeling of dread twisting my stomach.
“Found a phone. I’m calling for backup,” Ben says near me.
I shush him.
He crawls to where I’m standing and peeks out. “That’s Jenya!”
“And Koschei with her,” I whisper, unable to check the cold terror in my voice.
I thought I could do it. I thought I had put all my ugly feelings in my mental ‘cult’ box, closed the lid, and filed it away. But Jenya’s appearance in my life made me lift the lid and peek inside. Now the contents are all mixed up with my daily life, and I can’t tell where Tatiana ends and Tanya begins.
The cold grip of fear makes my hands shake and I hug myself. The bright sun is suddenly blinding, and the gravel beneath my feet makes the ground unsteady.
I can’t face him.
“Call her here,” I say to Ben, who’s still looking out. I’m now pressing my body to the wall like I’m standing on the ledge of a skyscraper. One wrong move and I will fall. I will lose myself and my soul will die.
“Jenya!” Ben waves, his voice a little louder than normal.
