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The world spins in front of my eyes, my feet itching. I need to get out of here. He will find me and he will take me back. All my freedom and comfort will be gone the moment he sets his eyes on me.
“She’s not coming,” Ben says. “She saw me, but she’s frozen in place.”
I have to make a choice again. Try to help Jenya and get caught; or run and leave her. There is a car in the distance. I can get to it in minutes if I sprint.
“Leave her,” I say in a trembling voice. “We can’t save her. Let’s get to that car and leave.”
“What?” Ben turns to look at me. He’s confused.
Of course he is. I have to be clear with him this time.
“Take my hand and let’s run.” I hold out my open palm in front of him.
“But we can take Jenya with us. There’s only that old guy with her.”
“We can’t!” I snap. “That’s Koschei. You don’t understand. If he catches us, it’s all over.”
Ben takes my hand and pulls me to him, hugging me.
“We’ll be fine. Let’s stick to the plan,” he whispers in my hair.
He’s going to abandon me again.
“You’re choosing her.” I press my hands to his chest and push myself away from him. “She will get saved. You called for backup, right? But we can’t get caught. Come with me.”
“We can literally grab her if we wait two more minutes. She’s probably frozen in fear too. Let’s help her.”
“Don’t abandon me again.”
“I’m not abandoning you. It’s not a choice. All three of us can leave.”
He’s not getting it. How would he? He has never been burned, beaten, and humiliated. He has never made a choice that resulted in the destruction of his world. He is pure, and I’m tainted.
“Follow me or get left behind,” I say through gritted teeth, my legs already tensing under me, preparing for a run.
“Tanya, you don’t have to do this,” he whines.
As always, it’s up to me to make the difficult choice. I can’t go back to Koschei. I have to survive.
Chapter 28
“Jenya!” I hear Ben’s voice from somewhere. From inside my mind or is it real?
Then I hear it again and stop to look up. Koschei stops with me. Did he hear it too?
I dare to glance up and there, a few buildings away, Ben is waving from behind a wall. Where is Tanya?
“Oh, dear. It seems one of our guests has escaped,” Koschei says. “Do you know him?”
What is the correct answer? Does he already know? Is he testing me?
I remain silent. This has always been the safest way.
Ben keeps gesturing to me. If I run, I will get to him in no time. But I don’t want to run—if I do, that will take Koschei to them. Tanya will be brought back to us, and Ben? I don’t know. Men his age were never part of our village.
Maybe it’s safe. But what about the darkness? We are all here now, exposed and vulnerable. I glance at the sky. The sun is still up, but soon, it will chart its usual way down to the ground and disappear.
And then there will be cleansing rituals to do. With dread in my stomach, I realize I don’t want to do the rituals anymore.
