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Whatever the answers to my cosmic questions, my life can’t continue the way it is. Damien can vanquish the darkness, and I will open the door for him.
Damien didn’t tell me what to expect exactly, so I lay in bed, my heart pounding in my ears. Every little sound I hear startles me, and I’ve bitten a wound on the inside of my cheek from trying to contain random gasps of surprise.
I don’t know why I’m so anxious. We can’t die, not really. The tales of death for uninitiated people are scary, but that reality doesn’t apply to us. We’re going to Nav. A place that will be much better than the constant fight we have to lead with the darkness here.
It all starts with what sounds like a firework. Most of the children wake up, their confused little faces clearly visible in the muted light of the wall night lamps.
Then it’s chaos, and I can’t wait to get to the calm green field that awaits us. I don’t get out of my bed and I don’t try to run. Not when the windows shatter, and not when the room is engulfed in flames.
The children are ushered out by our mothers. I know it’s pointless to run. We live in a circular village. Where are they going to hide?
People in black run in, looking around before throwing something that feeds the flames. I don’t think they notice me slumping on the corner bed.
Smoke fills my lungs, and it tastes much different than my favorite cigarettes. It stings on the way down and makes my vision blurry. Am I crying?
“Hey, take my hand. Come on, friend.” It’s Damien’s voice, but it takes me a minute to figure out where it’s coming from.
He’s dangling from the broken window, half-inside, half-outside, outstretching a gloved hand. He’s also dressed in all black, a strange hat on his head.
“No, I need to get to Nav,” I shout back, my voice hoarse.
“Do you want to live?” he asks me, nudging his arm in my direction.
“Yes, but not here, and not in your world. Somewhere better.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He struggles to get his massive body through the tiny window, but after a few grunts, he drops into the flaming sleeping hall. It’s so strange to see him here, in my usual space, with his weird gadgets and youthful face. Before him, I rarely saw men in our village. Koschei is the only constant. Our fallen protector.
Damien drops to his knees in front of me, forcing me to look at him.
“There is no Nav. No heaven. If you stay here, you will die. I’m not going to lie to you. Everyone else will die. But I can save you and only you. Come with me.”
“But, but…” My eyes fill with tears. He looks deadly serious. “This changes everything. How do you know there is no Nav?”
“There is hope,” he says. “It means Koschei is not immortal. He will die too, like everyone.”
I shake my head frantically. Sweat, tears, and soot mix in front of my eyes.
“I can’t live if everyone else dies. I thought I was cleansing this place.”
“You aren’t,” he says so quietly I barely hear him. “I’m the one cleansing it. These deaths, they’re on me. You deserve to live. I know you. You will fit right into my world.”
I try to move away, but a sharp pain in my belly stops me in my tracks. I look down and see a long, thin piece of glass sticking out. I let out something between a sob and a chuckle.
“The final retribution,” I whisper.
I’m dying. And there is no Nav. I destroyed my whole village.
But you have to make a choice.
I made a mistake.
But you can save yourself at least.
This isn’t right.
But is it wrong?
“We need to go. If you want me to leave you, I will. But I prefer to save you,” Damien says, the crackling fire drowning some of his words.
