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“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Okay. I’ll call you in the morning.” Brian kissed her on the cheek and left.
Colleen kicked off her heels and walked to the pool. Sitting on the edge, she dangled her feet in the water. If she were alone, she’d yank her dress off and plunge into the pool and do laps until she was too exhausted to think.
“Hey,” Lucy said, stepping out of her sandals to join Colleen. “This is just like old times.”
“Except my dad’s dead.” Colleen’s mood was becoming sullen. Lucy was her best friend. She didn’t deserve a bitchy attitude. “I’m sorry.” Colleen took her hand.
Lucy gave Colleen’s hand a squeeze. “You’re entitled to feel any way you want to right now.”
“It’s been a long haul, you know?” Colleen wiped her eyes again. “After his first stroke, we all made adjustments to help my mom; life returned to a new normal. But the second stroke was devastating.”
“He’s not suffering anymore,” Lucy offered in a quiet voice.
“No,” Colleen said, recalling her father’s steady gaze in his final hours. Even after two strokes, and having lost the ability to speak, he was never angry. He accepted what had happened as he had every misfortune in his life, with grace and dignity. Why couldn’t she do the same?
Footsteps approached. “How are you doing?” Justin asked, pulling a chair close to them.
The sound of an Irish harp, violin, tin whistle, and a melancholy voice came from the house. Colleen groaned inwardly. The Chieftains were back on the stereo. “I’m tired, numb, and pissed off. And for God’s sake, I wish they would stop playing ‘Carrickfergus’ over and over again.”
“It was your dad’s favorite Irish song,” Lucy said.
She paused to listen to her family sing along with the song. Loud and off-key, they put all their emotions into each word. She couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s their way of saying goodbye,” Justin said. “It’s what they need to do to let go.”
Colleen nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I don’t think I’ll ever let go of him.”
Justin moved from the chair to sit on her other side and put his bare feet in the water.
“There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Everyone grieves differently.”
Colleen wiped away a few more tears, grateful for her friends’ support and understanding. She sat with them, listening to the plaintive song until it ended.
“You should come and visit us,” Lucy said. “We’ll be on Santorini the whole summer. Brian is welcome to come, too.”
“He’d love that,” Colleen said with sarcasm. “It’ll give him something new to brag about.”
“Everything okay with you two?” Justin asked.
“Nope. And I’m not up for talking about it right now, if you don’t mind.”
Justin stood and helped Lucy to her feet.
“I understand,” Lucy said.
“I apologize for being a bitch, but there’s a lot going on right now.” Colleen stood. “It’s not just my dad, or Brian. I didn’t get the full-time teaching job I wanted at Highland College.”
“I’m sorry.” Lucy’s eyes filled with concern.
“The enrollment is down at Highland, so my existing classes haven’t been confirmed for the fall semester. And yesterday, I got an email from the dean at Moorehead that my Saturday class has been canceled. The only job I have now is a summer class at Highland. After it’s done in a few weeks, everything is up in the air.”
“What about Santa Monica College? They have a huge art history program. Julia is the new department chair. Have you called her?”
“I did, but she’s swamped right now. She’s not making any staff changes until the spring semester. She said she’d email me if anything opens up.”
“That’s all the more reason to come for a visit.”
