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After I close the door on Adam, I lean back against it and slide down to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, with my face buried in them as I fight to hold back the wails of despair shuddering through my body.
I thought you were different.
Oh god. Could anything hurt more? Being called a whore or a liar would have been better. Probably because I know it's not true.
But the disappointment in his eyes.
I drag in a breath that's about as smooth as a stuttering engine.
Crap. I'm even thinking in rancher phrases now.
I hold it together enough so I don't scream and wake the whole house, but I'm miserable. I don't know how long I sat there on the floor half-hoping Adam would come back, pound on the door and then talk some sense into me.
Maybe he's just as glad to have me out of his hair.
It's all too complicated.
More complicated than I can handle.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
July 4th Late Afternoon
KIT
Fortunately last minute party preparations fill my time and leave me exhausted. Family meals are replaced with a cold buffet of meats and salads Midge leaves out for us. One night she even orders pizzas from a place in town. I haven't been here long, but long enough to know that if Midge lets someone else do the cooking, she's busy.
The ranch, which was an active place when I arrived, has gone into overdrive in the last forty-eight hours. Thankfully the weather forecast is ideal.
I'm dressed in a cute denim skirt Boone insisted I buy on one of our many trips to town. Not my usual style, but I like it.
In fact, I like a lot of things around here. The beautiful scenery, the hum of activity at the ranch. Boone’s whole family, including Midge.
But, none of it is enough to make me stay. Nope. Not happening. I haven’t figured out how to tell Boone yet. I have a flight back tomorrow and she thinks I’m going to pack up my things and return within a month.
I’ll call or text when I get to Connecticut and tell her plans have changed. She’ll be mad, but I won’t be dead to her.
I won’t be the person who tears apart a family that’s just putting itself back together.
The skirt is great, but it doesn’t mean I fit in around here.
I don't look like what I am. A city girl. More comfortable at the country club than in the countryside.
I simply need to get through the next few hours without letting on that my heart is breaking and then I’ll be on my way back to where life makes sense to me.
Or so I tell myself. I gaze out over the now familiar ranch homestead and more sadness builds in me. This could have been perfect. A wonderful career, family, my best friend and a man who fills my heart with so much happiness and love it feels almost criminal.
But, it’s really just a fantasy, isn’t it? Something that happens in books. Not real life. Real life is when people die in car crashes before their time and leave their children devastated.
And people use others to get what they want, regardless of the consequences. Like Christy.
I take a deep breath and clear my head of those serious thoughts. I need to put on a smile and make this event a success. It’s the least I can do.
The area designated for the barbecue looks fantastic. The van from Mary Kay's Flowers is parked near the tables for food and eating and she's fussing over each bud and vase as she puts them out.
"Good call on the hydrangeas," Boone says, sidling up to me. "They look great. Fresh and pretty but not overwhelming and still with enough room on the tables for the food."
I laugh. "Are you sure there's enough room for the food?"
