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ADAM
Deacon and I are in my truck, driving back from Ponderosa Pass where we've been Christmas shopping. The back seat of the cab is full of bags and wrapped packages with larger items in the truck bed, beneath a cover to keep the snow off.
We near the spot on the road where our parents and little brother died and I pull over. Deacon grabs a wreath out of the backseat and we exit in silence. He holds while we both stare into the ravine, each lost in his own thoughts.
Sometimes it seems like it was just this morning I’d waved as our parents and Eddie headed down the driveway to Ponderosa Pass. Other times, it's hard to even picture their faces.
Stealing a glance at Deacon, I watch as he wipes a tear from his eyes. I do the same before he looks my way. He raises the wreath to his face and places a kiss on the bright red bow which adorns the top of the evergreen circle then sets it against the guardrail reverently.
After we resume our travels, it's still a few minutes before either of us talks.
"I-I don't suppose you've heard anything from, you know, um, Kit."
I nearly swerve off the road. This is the first he's mentioned her to me since the big scene on July 4th.
"It's been months, why are you bringing her up now?"
He shrugs. "You've been pretty remote and I figured in the truck you can't avoid answering me." He grins. "I didn't want to ask on the way to Ponderosa Pass in case you decided to leave me there."
What should I say? That I think about her every day. Multiple times. That the hardest part is at night when I walk to my bedroom and look across the hall to the room that had been hers and images flash through my mind of the times we'd made love in her bed as well as the night when she'd literally shut the door on me.
I look at Deacon again and realize this is his way of trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation with me. It reminds me he’d had a serious girlfriend years ago, Lissy, though they broke up shortly after the accident and then she left town.
"Have you heard from Lissy?"
He bristles. "What are you doing bringing that up? I was concerned about you, man. You've been like a bad country song ever since the big scene at the barbecue. I don't love the fact she ran off, but I also thought you'd hear from her. Or at least Boone would."
"Has Boone heard from her?" I ask, hopeful.
He shakes his head. "Not that I know of. Not sure what's wrong with all of you. Boone's miserable and cranky. Worse than when she was thirteen. And she's completely abandoned the party business. Just mopes around and she's spent way too much time at the casino lately."
Fuck. I knew Boone was unhappy, I'd certainly been on the receiving end of her foul moods. I thought she was only directing it all at me. "I hadn't noticed her going to the casino."
"That's because you've been shutting yourself up in your office or your room," Deacon says. "The family needs you, Adam. We all do."
I blow out a breath. He's not wrong. "Why didn't you mention any of this before now? It's been months since Kit left."
"I didn't want you to punch me." He shrugs.
I laugh, it's a short bark, not a hearty guffaw, but a laugh nonetheless. "You've got two inches and forty pounds on me. I'm not going to punch you."
I glance over and he's grinning, but then he turns serious. "I let Lissy get away. I don't want you to do the same. I know I'm the one who told you not to chase after Kit and I'm sorry I did. It was wrong. But I thought she'd come back."
He stares out the windshield for a couple seconds. "I thought Lissy'd come back too, but she was smart enough to stay away. I was a mess. But, your situation is different. You need that girl."
* * *
KIT
"That dress is gorgeous, dear. Peter won't be able to take his eyes off you." My mother studies me with her critical gaze and nods in approval from the upholstered chair where she's perched.
I'm in my bedroom back home in Connecticut just like I have been every day since July 5th when I flew home wearing a giant pair of sunglasses to mask my tear-swollen eyes. It was easy to convince my mother I'd had a reaction to being around all that hay and she'd asked no questions.
If she was curious about the fact I hadn't had a long, laugh-filled chat with Boone since my return, she hasn't mentioned it, which is surprising. Except for the fact she never thought Boone was good enough for me. Or for a d'Winter, to be more exact.
The few questions she asked about my trip were easily handled due mostly to her basic disinterest in anything other than herself.
The dress is a beautiful shade of red and it sets off my dark curly hair and I do look good in it.
