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“No. I’m not mad.”
If she’s not mad, then she’s turned on. Damn if my cock doesn’t throb just from the thought. “You hold all the cards here, Ramsey. You have to tell me what you want.”
“What do you want?” she asks.
I take the iPad from her hands and place it on the table. We’re at the images where we’re lying on the blanket. We’ve seen all that we need to. “I want to know what you want.”
“I-I want you to kiss me.”
“Here?” I place another kiss just below her ear.
“Yes.”
My mouth trails across her cheek, where I kiss the corner of her mouth. “Here?”
“Yes.”
Sliding my hand behind her neck, I turn her to face me. Slowly, so I don’t scare her, I brush my lips against hers. Once, twice, three times. “You want me to kiss you like this?” I ask. I don’t even recognize the huskiness of my voice.
“Please.”
“Tell me what’s off-limits, Rams.” She hesitates. “There is nothing you could tell me that would make me not want you. Nothing. I just need to know, so I don’t scare you.”
“You don’t scare me like that.”
“What do you mean, like that? Do I scare you?”
She nods, and her teeth once again attack her bottom lip. “Yeah,” she confesses.
“How do I scare you?” I pull away, dropping my hands from her body. Fuck me. I don’t want to scare her into kissing me.
She reaches for my hand and presses it to her cheek. “I’m not afraid you will hurt me physically, but emotionally…” Her voice trails off.
“Never,” I promise, my voice holding conviction. “I will never hurt you.”
“But you could.”
“You have the power here, Ramsey. I’ve done nothing but think of you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I’ve battled with myself over wanting you. Our age difference, my best friend, my little sister, we have so many connections, but yet I just now found you. Why do you think that is?”
“I think,” She pauses, closing her eyes. I give her time to process what she wants to tell me. “I think maybe I wasn’t ready for you before now.”
Damn. “And now?”
“I’ve never been with someone who wants to hear my thoughts and opinions. I’ve never been able to choose. My first kiss was stolen from a guy my father insisted I date. He wasn’t my choice, and it wasn’t my choice to kiss him. He just took it.”
“Did he?” I can’t even ask the question. The fear that she was sexually assaulted holds my voice hostage.
“No. He was rough and mean, but he didn’t do… that.”
“Thank fuck,” I say, pulling her into my arms. I need to hold her right now, and by the way her body sinks into mine, she doesn’t mind.
“I’ve never been on a date with someone I chose. I’ve never kissed someone I wanted to kiss. My life wasn’t my own.”
“I’m so sorry.” I press my lips to the top of her head.
“I ran away from all of it. I swore off dating and men, and I just wanted to do me. I wanted to work and save money and get my own place. I wanted to save more money because I never wanted to have to depend on someone to take care of me ever again.”
“I can understand that.” Her three jobs make much more sense to me now.
“I didn’t know I needed you or someone like you until I met you.”
“Me,” I correct her. “Needed me. Not someone else. Just so we’re clear,” I say, making her laugh.
Pulling away from my chest, her eyes lock on mine. “You were the first kiss that I wanted.”
Her words have my heart beating faster. “Have dinner with me?”
“I thought we already were?”
“Not here. A date. Go on a date with me?” I’m more than asking for a date, and we both know it. I’m asking her to choose me. Regardless of all the obstacles that could stand in our way, I still want her.
“When?”
“You pick the day, and I’ll make it happen.”
“Is this where I’m supposed to pretend like I have to look at my calendar?”
I move in close. Our lips are barely a breath apart. “No, baby. This is where you choose me. This is where we stop worrying about anything that could complicate this and choose to be with each other.”
“I think Palmer is on board.” She smiles.
“And Orrin, well, he’s just going to have to deal with it.”
“I’m twenty-three next month.”
“I’ll be thirty-three in October.”
“Ten years isn’t so bad.” The words are barely out of her mouth before I’m kissing her.
How can I not kiss her when her statement has been my biggest hurdle in all of this? Sure, my best friend might be pissed, but this is Ramsey we’re talking about. I’d be a fool not to see where this goes, and if he can’t understand that, then so be it. As far as my sister goes, Ramsey’s right. Palmer is on board. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if she planned this from the very beginning. She’s always telling me I need someone to share my life with and has begged me for a couple of years now to let her fix me up. I can’t help but wonder if the person she wanted to fix me up with was Ramsey all along.
