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“That sounds like a perfect childhood.” I sighed. “Besides the monthly stock-up trips into Red Lodge or cross-country road trips to visit family, I only ever had Decker.”
I glanced at the two little females left in my care. I wanted more for them than what I’d had. Not that my childhood had been awful, but at times, it had been lonely.
“Yeah, it was pretty damn—darn good.” He flinched like,oops, then grinned and went on. “I spent tons of time with my older brothers and sisters. Went on vacations with them. Got in trouble with them. Got in a few arguments, too. But we always squared up.” He cocked a dark eyebrow at me. “Never held a grudge.”
Because tomorrow was not a promise.
And I should square up with my brother.
“Are you close to all of them, or only a few?”
“My oldest brother was twenty when I was born. He always treated me like his kid brother and not just one of his dad’s offspring, which, I’ve heard is common among other Breeders’ offspring. But yeah, me and my sister, Daelyn, we’re close. She’s fourteen years older than me and never misses a chance to remind me I’m herlittlebrother.”
He chuckled, but his face held a fleeting sadness I couldn’t read but, instead, felt somewhere in the pit of my stomach.
“Decker is my younger brother, too, but only by a few minutes. I gave up reminding him of that fact a long time ago.”
Seff laughed. “I bet that chaps his...” He caught himself that time.
“Hind-end?” I smiled and finished for him. “Yes, it does.”
A few locals stepped out of a shop in front of us. We stopped and chatted about the snowfall and how the town would be inundated with skiers and snowboarders over the coming weekend. I fielded the constantly probing questions of how the twins were doing and when were they going to start school. It seemed no matter how many times I explained they were home-schooled, people forgot or couldn’t grasp the idea their ‘parents’ were not comfortable sending the ‘girls’ to public school. Our location didn’t matter. We could live at the tip top of Beartooth Mountain, and we’d be expected to get the twins to school. It was Montana, after all.
One rancher said, “They need to get back to their riding lessons. They live in horse country. They gotta know how to ride.”
“Absolutely,” I replied with a smile. “I’ll do my best to bring them down the mountain this coming spring.”
“I wanna go skijoring!” Arteisma shouted.
The rancher laughed and ruffled her hair. “You got a ways to go before you’ll be doing any skijoring, little miss.”
I couldn’t agree more. Either of the twins racing on horseback, towing a skier along through an obstacle course? Nah, not anytime soon.
One dance-mom stopped us and offered her suggestion. “Their parents need to sign them up for dance.”
“We’ll have to see if we can work out dance and riding on the same day.” I smiled, though I knew we wouldn’t be doing any such thing. The twins had on their happy faces, smiled, and behaved as though they were excited to continue their riding lessons, but not so much for dance.
And my heart bled a little at that. Come spring, the twins might not be with me, and even if they were, we might not be in Red Lodge at all.
Because the Red Lodge pack was dead. Murdered.
And here I am with a smile on my face while my heart bleeds like an open wound no one can see.
Seff’s arm came around my shoulder. “We’d better get goin’.”
I gazed up into the dark brown eyes that seemed to see into my soul. “Yes, we need to get up the mountain.”
We said our goodbyes and started along the sidewalk. The candy store was the next door down, festively decorated for Christmas, like every other store and shop in town. Even the library had a massive lighted Christmas tree outside in front, where they held a yearly tree lighting celebration. My pack hadn’t adopted the Christian holiday, and being a secluded artist colony, the people of Red Lodge hadn’t batted an eye at our choice to observe the Winter Solstice instead.
Normally, my pack would’ve started baking all kinds of wonderful goodies for our Winter Solstice celebration.
But not this year.
Suddenly, my eyes burned with hot tears as my grief welled up inside. My skin broke out in a cold sweat inside my too-warm parka. The breakfast I’d eaten turned to stone in my stomach, and a wave of dizziness swept over me.
Seff stopped and gazed down at me, a question in his eyes.
“I need a moment.” The words squeezed through my tightened throat.
