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“I’ll go,” Seff said as his arms came around my shoulders. “You’ve done enough, Des.”
No, I could’ve done more.
No mercy. Kill on sight.
That was the law the Tribunal had set down the night they’d executed Rule Arwan. I should’ve killed those rogue bastards, killed them both when I’d had the chance. But I hadn’t. I’d wanted them to suffer for what they’d done. I’d wanted one to watch while his brother died, slowly, painfully. I would never forget the scent of his blood. My entire body shuddered again.
“I never should’ve let them go.”
“C’mere.” Seff walked me over to the futon and pulled me down into his lap as his arms wrapped around me.
“Listen, Desarae.” Brutus crossed his arms over his big, broad chest. “You were alone. Whatever you did, I’m sure it’s the only thing you could do. There is no shame in that.”
I looked away from him, not because I was ashamed, but because he didn’t know what I could do. And neither did Seff.
I should’ve killed them both.
Brutus headed to the front door. “We’ll wait for you, Seff.” He left with a quiet click of the latch.
“Hey,” Seff said as he lifted my chin.
“I—”
His lips on mine stopped whatever it was I was about to say. And that was okay. I wanted to get lost in him. Kiss him. And kiss him. And kiss him. Feel his mouth on mine, his soft whiskers brushing my face. Breathe in his tangy forest scent and drown in the taste of him. All of that and more stirred a fire inside me.
With a quick movement, he laid back on the futon, his mouth never leaving mine as he maneuvered my body to lie atop the entire length of his. His growing erection pressed against me, and, dear gods, he felt so good. I sighed into his mouth as he deepened our kiss with long, sweeping licks of his tongue.
I wanted to move, wiggle, grind against him until he moaned.
Till never allowed it.
And therehewas again, invading my mind, my life.
Frustrated at the uninvited intrusion, I pulled my mouth from Seff’s and tucked my head into his neck. Big, powerful hands slid up and down my back in slow, soothing caresses. He traced the lacy patterns of my tattoo, as though he had already memorized every loop and swirl.
My wolf wanted to tear Seff’s clothes from his beautiful body and sink my teeth into him, mark him as mine. Only the excitement of the mating ritual stopped me. I would wait until everyone—his pack and the remains of my pack—could be there to witness our union.
He gripped my waist. “Des, tell me what’s going on.”
I took a shallow breath and whispered, “You’re okay with me...like this?”
“I fucking love havin’ your sweet body on top of mine.” He pressed his soft beard against my cheek. “But what I want to know is why you thought you had to ask me that.”
I leaned up on my elbows and gazed into his dark eyes. I’d promised to tell him everything, but I didn’t know where to start.
His dark eyebrows pinched together. “What did he do to you, Des?”
My heart raced, not from desire, but from shame.
Whatever I allowed.
Seff’s face went hard. His jaw clenched as he spoke between gritted teeth. “Stop it with the guilt.”
I tried to sit up. Seff wouldn’t have it. He grabbed my waist and held me still while he looked into my eyes.
“Yeah, I feel it through the bond, but even if we didn’t have this bond between us, I’d smell it on you. You came down those stairs not two minutes ago, and you know what I saw? What I felt? And the scent you gave off? You weren’t feelin’ sorry for yourself. You hadn’t given up.” He tightened his grip. “That was determination, darlin’. Strong as steel. Then, I kiss you. Make you feel something else, and suddenly you lose that steely determination, and you’re back to questioning what’s goin’ on between us. That male took advantage of you, made you feel like shit, and even though you thought you got over what he put you through, it’s obvious you didn’t.” His words were soft and compassionate. “I need to understand where this guilt comes from. I never want to be the cause of it.”
My heart lurched. “Gods, no, Seff. It’s never you.”
