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Big hands slid softly down my neck, shoulders, and arms before he stepped back to join Brutus outside. I closed the door behind him and fought back the almost overwhelming urge to slide down the wall, wrap my arms around my legs and cry until I was cried out. Seff would feel my tears through our bond. He’d feel the need to comfort me, leaving Brutus on his own to deal with the loss of his son. I wouldn’t be that selfish. I shoved down all the emotions that made me want to weep and focused on the relief that this short hunt had ended with only one dead wolf—the one who had deserved to die.
After surveying the suite, I tossed my backpack and Seff’s duffle into the small closet, where I found a thick, soft, white guest robe hanging. I stripped out of my jacket and clothing, then pulled the robe from the closet and slipped it on. I lit the suite’s inset gas fireplace directly across from the king-size bed. Though the bright orange-yellow flames warmed the room, I missed the cracking sound of kindling and the smoky smell of burning wood.
Compared to the tiny bathroom I was accustomed to, the bathroom in this suite seemed half the size of my entire yurt. The off-the-grid economist in me cringed at the wasted space. The newly bonded wolf in me wanted to sing to the heavens. Double sinks. An oversized walk-in shower. And an enormous tub. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d soaked in a tub.
I closed my eyes and reached out with my senses to mysakana. After talking with Brutus, would he still feel the same hunger he’d felt before he’d left me? The sadness seeping into me from Seff stole my breath and stung my eyes. The powerful urge to pull back was hard to deny. Still, I stayed with Seff, took in his sorrow until I felt him near.
The door to our suite opened and then quietly closed. A few seconds later, Seff appeared in the bathroom doorway. His face was somber, his emotions somewhat muted as his gaze met mine.
“Brutus is headin’ out to San Francisco in the morning.”
I nodded. “It almost seems wrong to say I hope Brutus finds his son.”
“He needs that closure.”
“I know.”
Seff looked over to the tub. His need for comfort flowed through our bond. “You feel like sharin’ a bath?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
I turned on the tap and tested the water temperature while Seff undressed.
We’d only been together for a few days, so I could count how many times I’d seen him naked, but the sight of his beautiful upper body made my mouth water. Every. Single. Time. Every perfectly defined muscle flexed and tightened and nearly mesmerized me. A small patch of dark hair dusted the center of his chest, along with a thin trail running from his belly button down to the soft curls encircling his groin. Crouching, he loosened the laces on his boots and toed them off. His jeans hit the floor next, along with his boxers, giving me a full view of his entire body. And I didn’t look away, at least, not until he let out a long sigh and scrubbed a hand roughly through his long, thick, wavy hair.
“Do you want to talk?”
Seff’s chest rose and fell with another deep breath. “Let’s just relax, then, yeah, we’ll talk.” He stepped into the tub and sat back, his legs too long on his six-and-a-half-foot frame to stretch out fully. His eyes closed as a long, slow sigh flowed out of his chest.
I grabbed a stack of towels and set them closer to the tub before dropping the robe and stepping into the wonderfully hot water. I sank down between Seff’s legs and turned off the tap. Then, I settled back against Seff’s chest and sighed in contentment as he wrapped his arms around me. The steam off the water made his pine-forest, green-apple scent fill the room. I could’ve breathed him in forever.
“I don’t remember the last time I relaxed in a hot bath.”
Warm lips touched my neck, making me shiver in the most excellent way.
Seff whispered, “I want to relax like this, with you, every day for the rest of our lives.”
We stayed that way for quite a while, wrapped together, Seff’s cheek on my shoulder, his hard length pressed into my back. The desire to do more than lounge naked together was clear in his erection and the incessant throbbing down low in my abdomen, but we had time. He wasn’t in a hurry, and I was okay with that. Neither of us spoke, simply letting our peaceful emotions drift back and forth through oursakanabond.
After what seemed like hours, Seff took a deep breath, and I felt his resolve flow into me. “What made you finally leave him?”
Him. Tillman.
Time for our hard conversation.
I waited for the pain of the past to pierce my heart. But...it didn’t.
It really was time.
I breathed in mysakana’scalming scent, then let the words flow.
“He told me he loved me. He said no one would ever love me the way he loved me. Then, he took those things I loved most about myself and twisted them up until I didn’t know who I was anymore. He said I was too soft, too kind, too innocent. Then he took advantage of me in every sense of the word.” I paused and took a breath. “When my heat came, he denied me the one thing he promised he’d give me.”
Seff’s arms tightened around me. “Holy hell, Des. I’m so sorry.”
The memory of what happened threatened to split my heart open just as it had the night Till had left me alone. I refused to give in to the tears burning my eyes.
“My heat wasn’t a surprise. I’d felt it coming on a couple of weeks before. I told him there was a chance it could fall on the full moon. He seemed so excited. Gods, he even bragged—bragged about...”How he would fuck me all night.
