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“She cheated on me, remember?” I say, needing her to understand, to know what happened between us and why I will never ever want her back. “She did it a lot, with my best friend for fuck’s sake. It’s why we broke up.”
Eventually Lu nods, her eyes softening a little as my explanation sinks in.
“I’m not that kind of guy, Lu,” I continue. “I don’t treat someone I care about like that and I sure as shit don’t walk out on my responsibilities.”
Lu’s shoulders drop now, her hands sliding from her hips and falling to her sides. “I know you’re not,” she eventually says. “I’m sorry I thought that about you.”
I nod, stepping a little closer and closing the gap between us. We aren’t touching, neither of us quite ready to do that yet, but at least the hostility has dropped.
“So, you gonna tell me what this is all about?” I ask, waving a hand over the dress she’s still wearing.
Lu looks down, her eyes moving over the white material. When she looks up at me, she bites her bottom lip, a move I now know means she’s either nervous as hell or trying hard not to laugh. In this instance, I know it’s the former.
“It’s my wedding dress,” she eventually says. “From when I was going to marry Nate.”
I nod, even as I force myself to take a deep breath. “Right, so you were married to him then?”
“No,” she says quickly, shaking her head as she steps near me.
“No?”
“No,” she repeats. “We never actually got married.”
“But you were going to?” I ask.
Lu nods now and I once again feel the blood pounding through my veins, an anger building not just at the idea she was ready to commit to someone else but that she couldn’t even tell me about it.
After everything we’ve been through, all the years we’ve spent apart, both of us wanting the other but neither of us knowing how to make that happen. When I’d finally come over here and told her exactly how I felt about her, I’d thought we were both on the same page with what we wanted and how we felt about each other.
Confessing all the things that Mel had done to me last night felt like we’d reached a new level of commitment, that by admitting our past mistakes and fuck ups to each other, we were truly saying we trusted each other.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask.
Lu shrugs. “I don’t know,” she admits. “I guess a part of me was embarrassed about how it all went down,” she says. “And that it didn’t matter anymore because Nate was gone and you were here.”
I shake my head as a harsh laugh escapes. “What, so because you and Nate were over and you and I were now together, the fact that you were going to get married is of no consequence? Fuck, Lu, you don’t think I might have deserved to know that you were once engaged to someone else, were committed to spending the rest of your life with someone else!?”
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest again, my blood racing through my veins as my lungs fight to draw a breath. I can’t even work out what it is that pisses me off the most right now. All I know is that I need to leave before I say something I regret.
“I don’t think I can stay here right now,” I say, shoving a hand through my hair as I turn and walk to the back door.
“Jack, wait,” Lu cries, her hand on my arm.
I look back, shaking my head. “I need some space, Lu,” I say, peeling her fingers from my arm, even as the tears start to fall down her cheeks again. Then I turn and walk out the back door, my heart no longer pounding, but instead feeling like it’s cracking wide open inside my chest.
I don’t go back to my place, but instead head over to the sheds, looking for something, anything to do that can distract me from the shit fight my day has turned into.
I’m relieved to see that Mel is not around and I can only hope she’s finally gotten the message and pissed off back to Australia. What I really hope is that I never have to see her again.
It takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they do, I see Tommy, standing beside the crusher as he attempts to install one of the parts.
“Fuck’s sake,” I say, walking over to him. “Can you not?” I ask, yanking the wrench from his hand.
“What the hell’s your problem?” he asks, turning to face me.
I shake my head. “Jesus, really?” I ask in mock surprise. “Because you think sticking your nose into other people’s business and telling Lu half-truths about shit you know nothing about, isn’t bad enough?” I ask.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks, hands on his hips.
