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“Would you stop riling her up!” Ellen yells from the back deck and when I appear in the doorway she glares at me. “Just because you’re anxious doesn’t mean you get to get to bring the kids with you.”
“I’m not anxious,” I insist, knowing I’m lying through my teeth.
“Whatever,” she replies and starts to round everyone up pushing them to the table that is already set for everyone to start eating.
If it wasn’t for Ellen I don’t know how this would have all come together this quickly. Our parents arrived yesterday and Jack’s came in a few days ago. They always said they wanted to visit, and they made it just in time.
We chat and eat, and it’s simple and quiet and calming. It’s just what I hoped it would be and when the night starts to wind down, I’m once again overcome with emotion.
I choke back the tears, not wanting to cry in front of everyone, especially the twins. The questions will fly out of them like water from a tap and if they see me upset they’ll think something is wrong. That’s not at all the message I want to convey to them.
Ellen gives Will a slight tip of her head and he gathers up the kids and we all head back through the house.
“Say good-bye to Jack,” Ellen tells Oscar and Olivia and in their usual flourish, they cling to him, laughing and demanding he pick them up.
It’s never a short good-bye and this one is no different with Ellen and Will eventually having to peel the twins off of Jack.
After my parents share their goodbyes, hugging us both I can see the smile on my mom’s face, but I can see the worry in her eyes. She worries about me even though I’ve told her I’m going to be okay.
This is happening.
Last to leave are Jack’s parents and they’re all smiles, not a trace of nervousness shown on their faces. They haven’t seen Jack in ages and right now that’s their focus, him and his happiness.
When they’re finally gone, Jack heads into the bedroom and grabs his bag, and I take a long slow breath, reminding myself that it’s all going to be okay.
We find ourselves precisely where we were this morning with Jack pulling me into his arms and kissing me.
“Bye, baby. I love you,” Jack says, his lips next to my ear.
“I love you too,” I respond, as he slips from my arms knowing that if it isn’t quick we won’t be able to follow through with this.
I watch him walk down the steps to the waiting car, tossing his bag in the back; he climbs in and waves good-bye.
“Bye, Jack,” I say, even though I know he can’t hear me and I watch until his taillights disappear.
I can do this.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Two Years and a Bit Later…
Jack
The wait feels endless, testing my rapidly fading patience at what feels like the longest moment of my life. My feet shuffle, itching to pace but unable to. I just want this to be done already, just want it to be finished so everything is finally sorted.
“You okay?” I hear someone ask and when I turn, I catch my dad smiling at me.
I grin, nodding. “Yep, I’m good.”
Dad chuckles. “You sure, cause you kinda look like you’re shitting bricks there.”
Now it’s me laughing. “No, Dad,” I say. “I’m all good.”
“You’re allowed to be nervous, you know,” he says, elbowing me in the side.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not nervous!” I tell him. “Can’t you go find something else to do?”
Dad laughs. “Whatever, I’m going,” he says, hands up in surrender as he wanders off.
