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“I’m cancelling it.”
Ellen lets out a long sigh and runs her hand through her hair. “You’re not cancelling it.” Her tone is harsh and firm and before I can continue this argument she walks out the door.
The entire rest of my day is spent attempting to complete the most mundane tasks but being completely distracted.
I’ve once again allowed Nate to consume my thoughts and weasel his way back into my life.
It’s not like I have any attraction to him anymore or that I want him back. He’s just a reminder of how blindsided I was by manipulation and years of letting someone control me.
Him not showing up at our wedding was the biggest embarrassment of my life, but it was also the best thing that ever happened to me.
It’s like looking back at pictures from high school and wondering what the hell you were wearing, but then coming across that one where you still look amazing.
Nate is tube tops and self-cut bangs and silver eyeliner. Things that are humiliating to look at, but gratifying to know you survived.
But it’s also a reminder that I never want to go back, that I can’t let someone get so close that I’m hurt again. That’s exactly what will happen if this thing with Jack goes any further.
I’m about to get in the shower when my front door opens and Jack steps in.
“I came looking for you at lunch but I couldn’t find you,” he says, his eyes shining as he walks over to me.
When he reaches for me, I shy away and confusion washes over his face. I watch as his demeanor changes, his shoulders fall and he shakes his head slightly.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit, Lu. You just pulled away from me. I thought we were past this being weird shit.”
“What are we doing here?” I ask, but the words fall from my lips with a bite to them and a harshness to my tone. I gesture between us, and Jack steps closer to me.
“I thought we were starting a relationship, but I guess I was wrong.” He sounds affronted and I don’t blame him given my reaction to him.
“Why? So you can fuck off back to Australia and leave me?”
“Whoa, Lu,” he says, hands up defensively. “I’m not sure when the argument started, but I need to catch up.”
“There’s no argument,” I hiss back, knowing I’ve left him far behind and confused by my behavior. “You’ll leave and I’ll be here looking stupid. It is what it is.”
Jack is silent, his eyes taking me in, his lips parted slightly as if he wants to say something but words fail him.
“Good bye, Jack,” I spit out, walking down the hallway that leads to my bedroom and into my bathroom. I slam the door behind me, and the knot that had formed in my stomach, tight and nauseating, slowly begins to uncoil.
I take a deep breath, start the shower and strip off my clothes, but before I can take off my bra and underwear, the door to my bathroom flies open.
“Jack, what the…” I shout, as he forces me against the glass wall of the shower, the length of his body pressing into mine.
“You don’t get to walk away when we argue,” he asserts. “And I’m not going to fuck off back to Australia and leave you.”
He’s looking down at me, his deep blue eyes serious and it makes it hard to form a coherent sentence. I hear the truth in his words and I want to believe him. I swallow hard and suck in a ragged breath.
He places his hands on either side of my face and I close my eyes because there’s no way he’s still here after the fit I just threw. He’s supposed to leave.
His lips brush against mine in the smallest, softest movement causing my entire body to shudder, chills rushing down my spine.
He kisses his way along my jaw until he reaches my neck, sucking and biting at me. His hands slide over my breasts, the lightest touch of his fingertips trailing over the bare skin of my stomach.
“Jack…” I start, breathless and needy, but he cuts me off murmuring, “Don’t ruin it, Lu.”
