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“They offered me a job,” she says, cutting me off.
“What?” I ask, my heart suddenly thumping behind my ribs.
She reaches for her bag, pulling a slip of paper from it that she opens and places on the counter between us. I glance down at it, see the familiar name and logo of a famous winery somewhere in Washington. Below that is a number, a very large number with a dollar sign in front of it.
“What’s this?” I ask, a knot forming in my stomach as I look back up at Pen.
She swallows hard, her eyes locked with mine as she says, “It’s what they offered me to move up there and run their winery.”
Chapter Thirty- Five
Penny
The number has more zeros behind it than I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I get that these people have done well for themselves, but well enough to pay me a half a million dollars a year to run their winery and vineyard? The skeptical part of me is thinking this whole thing is a fucking scam.
Tommy’s eyes widen when I tell him it’s what they’ve offered me to move up to Washington and run their place.
“That’s a lot of fucking money,” he finally responds, quietly, and my heart breaks into a million pieces.
I don’t want to leave him, but I also told myself that I was done doing things that make guys happy. Tommy isn’t just any guy though and our current situation is much different than anything I’ve ever been in.
I love him and we’ve started a business together, granted it’s just started and literally hasn’t moved beyond the confines of a damn shed, but still.
Maybe I’m just making excuses.
But I’m not.
Lauren and Ellen have been so good to me. Hiring me when I had no idea what I was doing, giving me an awesome job and the opportunity to learn as I worked. They’ve allowed Tommy and me to raise bees and make mead and create a small business on their dollar.
Why the hell would I walk away from this?
Because I’d be stupid not to take a job that pays more than I’ll probably see in my lifetime. It’s probably more than Tommy would see in his lifetime.
But what if the mead business takes off and we find ourselves doing well? Fuck my life and all these fucking questions.
I pull a hand through my hair, my thoughts swirling in a million directions making me feel like I might burst into tears.
“It is a lot of fucking money, but that’s no reason to move three states away,” I admit, wondering if he’ll ask me to stay.
“It’s every reason to move. It’s every reason to at least give it a good hard thought,” he pauses, looking down at the piece of paper lying between us. “I’m not going to ask you to stay,” he finally admits and again my heart shatters more than I ever thought possible.
“I want you to,” I childishly demand, my words coming out in a desperate whine. I hate how I sound.
“Penny,” he says, stepping closer to me, and reaching out to wrap me in his arms. The second his hands touch my body, I collapse against him, unable to stop the tears.
The way he says my name, the smell and warmth of his body would normally bring me so much comfort, but today it’s just a reminder that this may be the last time I’m like this with him. That I get to find this solace, this peace he has brought me.
“Come with me,” I wail, my words louder than I want, but desperate to be heard. “Since you won’t tell me to stay, come with me.”
He’s worked here all his life and what I’ve just asked him is completely shitty of me. Completely selfish and based on the fact that I can’t make a decision. I also know it’s the reason his last relationship ended. She wanted more than just this vineyard.
I told him I would never leave. That this place would always be enough for me, and maybe it still is. Maybe my judgement is clouded by a dollar sign, money that I don’t really need, money that I’ve never needed.
Or maybe it’s more than the money. It would give me something to be proud of, something to call my own. But is it really mine if it was created by someone else?
Fuck my life.
“I can’t,” he finally answers, and it almost makes me angry. He doesn’t even say he might come with me or that he’ll think about it, even if he ultimately knows his answer is no. “I own a portion of Somerville’s. I can’t walk out on Ellen and Lauren.”
