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“Wait. What?” I respond, pushing away from him slightly. This is a new revelation. “What do you mean you own a portion? Why are you just telling me this now?” I’m trying not to sound indignant and hurt but I’m failing miserably.
It feels like he kept this in his back pocket just in case I decided to bail. He’d have this backup plan of always having the vineyard and I’d be left in the dust, possibly jobless.
I swipe a hand under my eyes, wiping away any semblance of tears in the hopes that I don’t look so desperate now.
“So when were you going to tell me?” I shoot, adding to my anger.
“I just told you now,” he responds, acting far too casual about it. “Whatever is mine is yours, Penny. I thought you knew that.”
“Okay, the ‘I just told you now’ is complete shit and you know it. You kept it from me on purpose. And now you’re using it as an excuse to not come with me or to make me stay or whatever,” I shout, my arms now crossed over my chest, angry at him, at the world, at myself.
“Penny, baby,” he says, sympathy falling from each word, reaching for me. “Come here.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not right now. I need… I need a few minutes to figure shit out,” I tell him, walking away and out the front door.
It slams behind me, not intentionally or maybe intentionally, I don’t know at this point. All I know is I feel lost and out of control, something I’ve avoided for so long. It’s the reason I vowed to stay out of a relationship, it’s the reason I told myself not to fall in love.
I head to the lake, the one place that has always held the quiet I’m now seeking, but when I get there all I can picture is Tommy.
He’s ruined my lake!
I’m being so dramatic, but I don’t care. I’m sure it’s a simple decision and I’m making it out to be this epic fucking disaster.
Either I take the job, or I don’t. But then my brain begins to yell at me, reminding me that this isn’t just a simple decision.
If I stay, am I doing it for a guy? Am I doing the one thing I told myself to not do? But then if I stay, am I giving up something that could’ve changed my life?
I flop down on the bench and let myself cry. The tears are falling hard and fast, and I’m taking in big gulps of air when I hear someone say my name.
“Penny?” the distant voice questions, testing it out to see if the hot mess of tears and wild hair is actually me.
I swallow hard, again wiping away the tears as I turn around and come face to face with Lauren.
“Hey Lauren. How’s it going?” I ask, as if I’m not sitting here sobbing my eyes out.
“What’s going on?” she asks, sympathetically, as she sits down next to me. “You okay?”
“Obviously I’m not okay,” I joke, smiling through the tears.
“What’s going on?” And then she hesitantly adds, “Something with Tommy?”
They’ve been friends since they were kids and she’s my boss. I can’t talk to her about him or the fact that I’ve been offered a new job. This is a complete disaster.
“When did Tommy buy into this place?” I ask, keeping it away from my new job or the fact that I’m on the verge of a breakup. Even if what I’ve asked is probably more intrusive in the end.
“Oh, shit, it’s probably been ten years at least. It was when Ellen and I took over. We needed a partner because we knew Ellen was going to be having kids soon and I couldn’t take on everything myself. He only owns ten percent, but before Jack came, he was in charge of all the maintenance on the property.”
I nod, but what she said has done nothing to appease my fears or my anxiety over the situation, because in the end, Tommy owning a portion of Somerville’s isn’t the issue. The issue is the job I’ve been presented with and the decision I ultimately have to make.
“Did he not tell you?” she now asks.
“No, he didn’t, but…” I can’t finish my thought. Telling Lauren that this isn’t what this is about feels awkward and weird. I wanted it to be about Tommy and the vineyard and him keeping it from me to make this whole decision easier on myself.
“I got offered a job,” I blurt out and Lauren’s mouth falls open a little.
“Okay,” she says, trying not to let her shock cloud her judgment. “Where?”
“Washington. They want me to run their winery and vineyard and fuck, Lauren, they want to pay me a ridiculous amount of money.” With each word the tears start up again. “I’m sorry.”
