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Hannah sits back now as the waitress drops our coffees off. When I finally glance up, she’s watching me, a strange look on her face as though she’s trying to figure something out.
“What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at her. “What’s going on inside that head of yours?”
“Well,” she starts, a grin tugging at her mouth, “I’m just wondering how the brother who I’ve always known as a self-absorbed, one and done type has suddenly changed his tune about a woman, that’s all.”
“I’m not self-absorbed,” I protest.
Hannah raises a brow at me.
“What? I’m fucking not. And for the record, I never pretended I wanted anything other than sex with any of the chicks I’ve been with, Tessa included.”
Hannah gives me a slow blink as though she legit cannot believe I’m admitting that, even though she’s heard me say it countless times before. “But not anymore?” she repeats.
“Not anymore,” I confirm.
“Why?”
I exhale, leaning forward, my elbows on the table and my head in my hands. “That’s the thing, Han, I have no fucking clue.”
“Is it the whole, you want what you can’t have thing?”
“No,” I reply, shaking my head. “I mean I’ve had her anyway, but I just…I don’t know, ever since she blew me off, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. I wake up every damn morning thinking about her. I look forward to going to work now because I’ll get to see her. I really like hanging out with her. I don’t know, I can’t explain it, it’s just—"
“You’re in loooovvve,” Hannah teases, drawing the last word out in an annoyingly sing-song way.
“No, I’m not…” I protest, not knowing what the hell I am. I’ve never actually been in love with anyone before. Wouldn’t have the first clue about how that’s supposed to feel or anything. And even though everything I just said about Tessa and how I think about her all the time is true, it doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.
Does it?
I mean it’s way too early for that?
“So, you told her about the money yet?” Hannah asks, interrupting my seriously weird train of thought.
“No, not yet,” I confirm, as our breakfast is dropped off.
“You going to?”
“Yeah, of course,” I reply. “After we have five dates.”
Hannah smirks at me before looking down at her plate, unconsciously rearranging her food a little so the presentation is just right. It’s something she always does, at home, in a restaurant, anywhere she sits down to eat.
“What?” I ask, wondering what she’s thinking right now.
She purses her lips a little, fighting a smile as she looks up at me. “I think she’s going to be surprised.”
“Yeah, probably,” I say with a laugh.
“You scared to tell her?”
“No, of course not,” I reply, leaning over to grab a forkful of her breakfast, which is something I always do right after she’s finished rearranging it.
Hannah fakes smacking my hand away before turning her plate so I can grab some more. “So you’re not like embarrassed about it or anything.”
I pause, shooting my sister a look as I wonder where she’s going with this. “No, should I be?”
“No,” she says, smiling. “I mean it’s a really fantastic pr—”
“Stop!” I say, cutting her off. “Seriously, we’ve had this conversation a million times, Han. You know I don’t want to know!”
