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14
Sabine
It'sby far the best sex I've ever had in my life. I don't think my body has ever been more satisfied, and I don't think anyone will ever be able to make me come like that again, but as I sit here trying not to let the bliss of my orgasms sweep me into unconsciousness, all I can do is think about how this is the end.
"Trey, are we going to talk about what just happened?" I ask. Might as well get this over with now. I'm not going to string this along. If this is it, so be it. I'd rather get the pain over with now.
"Not right now." he says. His voice still with a hard edge to it.
"What do you mean, not right now? You can't just walk up to people and beat them up just because they get a little too close to me. I was handling it." I say referring back to the issue at the club.
"Are you kidding me." he pops up, and his eyes are bright and red. The fury is still there, just below the surface. I'd thought with that kind of release, he'd be in a calmer mood.
"I know you were taking care of it. I could have sat back and just let you handle your business, but that's not how this shit worked out tonight, is it. " He glares at me before he turns in the bed and slides his feet to the floor. He grabs for his boxers and pulls them up. His pants are on next.
I on the other hand and still laying in the bed trying to understand his last statement. It didn't sound like he was upset because of someone touching me. He seemed like he was upset because he helped me.
"Are you saying you didn't want to come to my rescue?"
"No! It's not my fucking job to come to your rescue. We're not supposed to be this!' He gestures between the both of us. "I don't want this, Sabine."
"Oh bullshit! You knew what the hell you were doing. I wasn't the only one talking on the phone calls late at night. I wasn't the only one in the bed fucking. You came to me every night. You knew exactly what the fuck this was. Just because you're scared of being in love with me doesn't give you the right to sit here and act like I fucking trapped you or some shit like that. I told you once before that shit was getting serious with me. You could have easily said something then, but you decided what, that you were just going to play this stupid fucking game until what, I forgot who you were? You were right there with me when this shit got started."
He scrubs a hand down his face and lets out a pained grunt, "I didn't know what I was getting into when I started this shit with you. I don't need this fucking drama. I don't need the fucking emotional shit. . I don't want none of this shit. I damn sure don't fucking want you!" He curses at me, and my heart feels like it's dropping to the very bottom of my feet.
I was prepared to have a fight because he was a jealous fuck. I was prepared to have a fight because he thought I was leading those guys on. I wasn't prepared to have a fight because he didn't love me.
"You don't want to be with me?" I hear the thickness of my own voice, and no matter how I clear my throat, I can't clear it. "Are you standing here and telling me right now that you don't love me?"
"Love was never supposed to enter this equation, Sabine." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I don't want that. I can't do this with you anymore." He looks away from me, and I search the empty recess of my brain for something to say to him.
"You ... We...." I shake my head once I realize that there's nothing left to say. He wants us to be over then, so fucking be it. It's my own fucking fault that he caught me this off guard. I should have done what I've always done, and that was staying far the fuck away from anyone that could hurt me. "Fine." I say before I roll out of bed and quickly put my clothing on. Tears drip down my cheeks just as fast as his cum drips down my legs.
He doesn't even bother to look at me as I walk out of his house, just closes and locks the door when I'm over the threshold.
I nearly collapse right there, but force myself to put one foot in front of the other until I'm far enough away from his house that I'm sure he can't see me. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was able to break me so completely. I turn another corner and finally, I collapse right there on the corner to my knees and cry my heart out. Not caring who was looking at me or how crazy I looked. As my heart threatened to explode in my chest, flashbacks of how I felt when Dimitri left me all those years ago come back to my mind. The pain I feel now is so much worse. Trey showed me what true happiness could really be and instead of me realizing that I was the only one feeling like that, I just assumed he was as dep in love with me as I was him. I was wrong.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I hear my father's voice in my ears. Telling me how I was worthless now that I'd given myself to someone else. I remember the way those men hurt me because I'd fallen for Dimitri and given myself to him. How they raped me over and over, simply because I'd let my heart do the choosing all the way back then. Now I've done the same thing with Trey. I let him in, gave him all that I had to the very soul of me. And it wasn't enough. I'm just another one of those useless woman who lets her heart make the decisions that she knows she shouldn't make.
After a few minutes, right there on my knees in the middle of the sidewalk, a man comes up to me.
"Hey ma'am, are you alright?"
"Get the fuck away from me! Back off before I slice you from your taint to your tongue.:" I shout at him, and he jumps back so fast he nearly falls down. He shakes his head and I get up off the ground and make my way to the next corner before I pull my phone out of my pocket and call for a cab back to my car.
Never again. I'll never fall for anyone ever again. I don't have anything left to give.
Once the car is on its way, I scroll up to Trey's contacts and I block then erase him. I don't want any reminders of what I thought I could have had. Instead, I'm going to focus on what I know I deserve.
