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17
Trey
Two monthslater
It took so much longer than I ever imagined it would take to get out of the DEA but I was determined to do it when I started the process I thought I'd feel some sort of remorse about leaving something that has been this much of my life behind after so long but as I walked out of that building with my small box of personal items it felt so right.
Marcel asked me until the day I handed my badge and credentials in if I was sure that I wanted to go and i told him under no circumstances would he get me to stay. Sure I'll miss him, but I miss Sabine more.
I've not heard from her since the day we broke up. I've tried to call her a few times but her number goes straight to voicemail so it means she must have blocked my number. I expected that. i know it's going to take a lot of explanation and even more groveling and that only to get her to agree to talk to me. She still may never trust me again and if she didn't I'd deserve that. I hurt her probably more than anyone else had hurt her, not to mention making her believe that I didn't love her. all of it is so fucked up but I'll send the rest of my life trying to convince her that I'll do whatever I can to make it better.
I had to resign from my main branch down in Georgia but I was happy to find out that the shotgun house I'd rented while I was in New Orleans was still available. I instantly sold my house in Georgia and bought this one here in Louisiana. I wanted Sabine to know that I meant everything I was going to try to get her to hear.
I would tell her that I was so deeply in love with her. that I was sorry and that I would wait forever for her to trust me again.
I'm not even in my new house more than an hour before I'm washing up and making my way over to Sabine's house. She may not let me in but I know I have a long road of grovelling ahead of me and I have nothing but time now to do it. It all starts with the first step.
"The drive back to her house makes me a nervous wreck but." I've been in full blown shoot outs and I wasn't this fucking nervous.
I come empty handed not because I don't think she deserves flowers or anything like that but because I don't want her tto think I'm trying to pressure her into forgiving me or that I think I'm deserving of forgiveness.
I knock on the door expecting to see nothing and then expecting to see her open the door with a weapon. All of which I'd deserve. .
I take one step back one I hear the locks of her door start to turn. when the door swings open I see a shorter woman that's not Sabine.
It takes me a few seconds to realize that I know who she is. This is Rowan, Sabine's best friend.
"What the fuck." The woman growls out and takes a step outside closing the door behind her.
"What are you doing here"/" She snaps at me,. Her face turning a deep shade of red and her jaw clenched tight as she stared daggers at me.
"Listen I just came here to talk to her. I'm not going to do anything crazy just want her to hear me out, if she wants to."
Rowan laughs and then tilts her head to the side, "You think she should hear you out? After the way you treated her? You think as a true friend to her that I'd let you in there to make her cry like that again? " Rowan shakes her head no, and I realize that before I even get to make amends with Sabine I'm going to have to go through her best friend.
"Rowan, I know I fucked up. I know I fucked up worse than anyone has ever fucked up with her but It's not what she thinks. As her friend I do expect you to protect her but also as her friend I expect you to realize that I'm here because I love her, and she deserves to be loved. I need her and All I'm asking is that she hears what I have to say." I admit with no shame in my vice.
Rowan's anger dies down a little and she looks back at the door when she hears Sabine calling for her.
"Are you hear to make things worse for her?""
"No, I promise you I'm not. If she kicks me out I'm gone.No pressure." I answer quickly.
Rowan huffs out a breath before she turns and opens the door.
She walks in and I take one step in after her standing right on the threshold.
Sabine looks up and sees me the confusion on her face turns to anger but for a fleeting second I saw a bit of joy. She missed me.
"Sabine." I start to talk but she puts her hand up.
"Don't, don't you dare come in here and try to give me some fucked up excuses." She snarls at me.
"I'm not, I'm trying to give you the truth. All I'm begging for is that you hear me?"
She crosses her arms over her chest and squints her eyes at me. "The truth you say? Okay, you've got one shot. If it's not the truth, I want you gone and I want nothing to do with you ever again." She says, and I'm surprised she gave in that quickly.
She gives rowan a look and her best friend leaves without another word.
