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6
Dean
Riding my bike seems to be the only freedom I’m ever allowed. That and hanging with my brothers, that is. Sometimes just being alone helps me face my demons, but ever since I got Rissa on the back of my bike, I feel like I have a purpose. This girl has finally given me something to live for, to fight for. I’ve spent years trying to will myself to fight, fight for my brothers, fight to leave this town… but my demons always seem to show back up and leave me wondering if it’s all worth it.
Don't get me wrong, I would fight to the ends of the earth for my brothers, but it seems sometimes they would be better off without my constant problems. With Rissa, though, I want to fight for her. I want to fight to make sure that none of those demons touch her. She has awakened something in me, something so strong it feels overwhelming, and I love it. I know it’s fast, but I don’t care; I just hope she feels the same way. She is so hard to read sometimes, but other times I can see her brain working. I can see every little thought running through her mind. I don’t need to know what’s going on. I just love being in her orbit.
“It’s peaceful here. I figured this might be better than a crowded restaurant or the school cafeteria,” I tell her as we finish eating our to-go burgers. We sit in silence, which would normally be fine with me, but I want to know more about her.
“What are your parents like?” I ask, looking back from the view of the lake in front of us and toward her.
Rissa quickly averts her eyes, looking around at the scenery. I smile at how cute she is and pull the three permanent markers out of my back pocket. There’s teal, green, and red. When I hand them to her, I can see the ease in her shoulders. She starts drawing, not talking for a moment, and I just give her time.
“My parents are distant, don’t really care what each other does, much less what I do. I keep to myself and my art. What about you?” she asks, focused entirely on her drawing.
“My parents are assholes, nothing really more to say than that,” I tell her, wanting to shrug but not wanting to mess up her work. Canaan already looked at me like I was completely crazy when I asked him to take a picture of the drawings she did for me the other day.
“What's your sexual history?” Rissa asks, and I choke on a bark of laughter at how casual she is about something I never thought she’d be comfortable talking about.
“Something wrong?” she asks, pulling my arm back so she can finish her work.
“Uh no, nothing’s wrong, and uh no—no sexual history, actually. None what-so-ever,” I tell her, berating myself for stuttering.
“Me either. Although I find myself sexually attracted to you. That’s never happened to me before. Actually, I’ve never had any of these feelings before,” she says, once again completely casual and honest.
“You have feelings for me?” I ask, surprised someone as amazing and talented could be attracted to trash like me.
“Of course. You’re strong, protective, and visually appealing to the eye. Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you?” she asks, and while it sounded like a compliment, it feels more like a stab to the heart. I guess she’s only attracted to my outside appearance.
“Everything else I’ve learned so far, you are also smart, sweet, and I like the way you stick up for me. Very Alpha. I didn’t know I was into that, but I guess I am. I like you a lot,” she says, putting it all out there. I smile wider than I have probably my whole life.
“I like you a lot too, Rissa. Actually, I think my feelings go far beyond like, but I don’t want to scare you off,” I say, turning and winking at her.
“I don’t think you could scare me off, but back to the topic of conversation. Seeing as you’ve never experienced a sexual relationship and neither have I, I think we should try it together. Get the awkwardness out of the way since neither of us knows what we are doing. I mean, I’ve seen porn and read books…” she continues like she didn’t just rock my fucking world.
“Wait, you’re saying you want to have sex—with me?” I ask, needing clarification. I must be dreaming, even though I’m as hard as a fucking rock right now.
“Yes, unless you don’t find me sexually attractive,” she tells me, finally looking up from her artwork on my arm.
“Oh baby, believe me, attracted is a woefully inadequate word for what I find you, but I need you to be sure. I wasn’t lying about how much I’m into you, and once I take you, that’s it. You’re mine. I will be your first and your last. You will be my first and my last as well. Are you sure you want that, Rissa?” I ask her, holding her stare. For once, she doesn’t dart her eyes away quickly. Looking in her eyes, straight to her soul, I think there’s a possibility that Rissa might just love me as much as I love her.
“No one can promise forever. It’s not rational or logical,” she says quietly, but I can see it in her eyes. She wants forever, too. She just doesn’t realize she does… yet.
“I can, and I will. If you give yourself to me, it’s going to be forever,” I tell her. I can see her thoughts racing through her head. She’s weighing the odds of how serious I am. The problem is, she won’t see me flinch.
“For some reason, that doesn’t factor into how much I need you. It doesn’t scare me like I imagined it would, and it doesn’t make me want to leave. On the contrary, it’s quite pleasing to hear,” she tells me decisively.
“Are you sure about this? I won’t change my mind, and I won’t let you either,” I say, leaning close into her. For once, my girl doesn’t pull away. She’s standing her ground as much as I am. I didn’t think I could fall more in love with this girl, but I’m quickly realizing, with Rissa, anything is possible.
She closes her eyes and leans closer to me while nodding her head. Good fucking enough for me. I lean in, taking her lips hard. I’m not a soft guy, and I need to know this is something she can handle, that she can handle all of me. She not only handles it well, but she gives it back to me with equal vigor. Before I know what’s happening, she’s straddling me and rubbing her core against the very hard and painful erection in my jeans.
“Maybe we should go somewhere a bit more private,” I say, barely able to pull my lips away from her neck.
“You’re probably right. We can go back to my house. My parents are gone until tomorrow,” she says, leaning back before standing.
“Sounds perfect. Let’s go,” I say, getting to my feet and all but dragging her to my bike.
I make sure her earplugs are in place before I secure the helmet, making sure it's tight. I climb on, then help her on behind me before cranking the bike and taking off. I’m trying to go slow and be safe, but all I can think about is her luscious full breast pressed up against me and her constant wiggling.
