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Chapter 3
Birkley
Ithought I was humiliated before, but that feeling was long ago forgotten with the knowledge that now Parker has seen me at my absolute lowest. That he is the one who came to my rescue and is now carrying me away from school to go knows where should scare me. I have no clue where we are going, but all I feel is protected and a heaping dose of embarrassment.
I listen as he types a code in a door and opens it, revealing rows and rows of lockers. I know what this place is. This is the football players' locker room. I only know that because I was desperate at one marching band practice, needing to use the bathroom so badly, and there was no way I could make it back to the school. We had been practicing on the field for hours, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it, so I snuck in here and luckily never got caught.
“Why are we here?” I ask as Parker makes his way to the back of the room. When I see the showers coming into view, I stiffen.
“No one is in here but us. No one comes in here until after school. I promise you are safe,” he says, setting me down just inside the lip of the showers. I wrap my arms around my waist.
“I figured you could come in here and rinse off. You can wash your dress off and use my shirt until we can get it dry with the hand blowers. I will wait just outside the door,” Parker says, turning. He pushes his jacket off his shoulders, then reaches one arm behind his back, pulling his shirt off and tossing it on the bench beside him. He shrugs his jacket back on and starts to walk outside.
“No, don’t go,” I say just above a whisper. Parker turns back to me and raises a brow.
“Sweet girl. I think you would be more comfortable showering if I was waiting on the other side of the door,” he says, and I can tell he’s battling whether to stay or go.
“Actually. I think I need you to stay. I don’t want to be left alone and vulnerable here. Please,” I whimper. His face softens immediately before he takes a deep breath and gives me a jerky nod.
“Alright, sweet girl. I’ll stand right here and give you my back. No one will get close. You have my word,” he says before doing precisely that. I wait just a minute before starting the water and slowly starting to strip.
As I get in the water, I keep one eye on Parker, but he doesn’t budge from his stoic position. That is until the warm mist from the scalding shower hits him on the back. He slowly takes his jacket off, throwing it on the bench in front of him, leaving his bare back facing me.
I turn back to the shower and watch all the paint wash down the drain. The colors swirling around me have those flashes coming back to mind. Taunting, laughing,You really are stupid, aren’t you? No one will ever want you.
I let a sob break free from deep within my chest before my body crumples, and once again, I’m sitting on the shower floor, arms wrapped around my knees, rocking back and forth.
“Baby, you’re killing me,” Parker says. I can hear the strain in his voice, but I don’t realize he’s moved until he’s in the water with me, sitting down and placing me on his lap. I look at his face, but he refuses to meet my eyes. He keeps his entire face pointed directly at the ceiling. He’s trying to show me comfort while still respecting me and my body.
“I want to hold you, sweet girl, but I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage. Please use me as comfort. That’s the only thing I can't offer, but I need you to take it. I need to fix this somehow,” he says, sounding pained.
His admission and the fact that all he wants to do is respect and cherish me and heal my pain rocks me back. His adoration of me at this moment shifts something inside of me, healing something that those horrible girls broke earlier this morning. I don’t know what compels me to do it, but I lean up, wrapping my arms around his neck and placing a soft kiss on his neck. He groans, and I feel his hips rock up under my ass.
“Sweet girl, you can't do that to me right now. I’m going to lose it,” he tells me, groaning again when I lick a drop of water sliding down his face.
Who is this brave girl sitting in a guy's lap and being so forward… and why did it take eighteen years for me to find her deep inside?
“Why not? Do you not like it? Do you not like me?” I’m suddenly very self-conscious and even more embarrassed than earlier, and I didn’t think that was possible.
I try to cover myself and start to scoot off his lap, but he grabs hold of my hips and pulls me closer to him once again. Close enough to feel that hard steel pipe in his pants again. He wouldn’t be hard unless he found me a little attractive, right? I know nothing about men's anatomy; hell, I barely know about my own. I’ve always been way too scared to explore my own body.
“Sweet girl, I’m more attracted to you than any other person on this goddamn planet, but..” He cuts off, and it leaves me completely baffled.
“But?” I question in a whisper, scared to death of what he might say.
“But I don’t want to give you every piece of me while you're pining after someone else. It might scare you to know, but you already have my heart and soul in your hands. If I give you my virginity and you’re thinking about some other asshole… that might break me, baby,” he tells me, and I look at him in a whole new light. I see vulnerability in his eyes.
Then I watch a smile cross his face and know he will make a joke or try to lighten the situation with something funny. I may have avoided him, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned everything I could from watching and listening to Juju. Parker is the funny guy in the group. He lightens the mood and is basically the class clown. He hides his pain with humor, but I don’t want him to hide right now. I want to see him fully, without the mask. Just like how much of me he is seeing at this moment.
“Don’t,” I say simply. He shuts his mouth, but his face is soft. “I don’t want you to hide behind a joke right now. Now, tell me what you really mean when you say pining after some other guy.” I question, completely confused about who he thinks I’m smitten with.
“The guy who wrote the note. I saw the smile that crossed your face when you read it. Which fucking jock was it you thought you were meeting in the band room?” he questions with a growl. I try to hide it, but he sees my smile and lifts an eyebrow.
“What’s so funny, sweet girl?” he asks, squeezing my hips and rocking up into me with his jean-covered cock. I let out a moan, and it severs my brain from my mouth, and I tell him exactly who I thought I was meeting in that room.
“You,” I moan.
“I’m sorry, what?” he asks, going completely still under me. I clear my throat before answering again.
“I thought I was meeting you. There was no name signed on the note, so I was hoping and praying the guy I’ve been head over heels with for years was the one in that room. You.”
