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Chapter 12 - Marian
Last night was incredible!
Dorian left an hour ago, and right away, I made a cup of coffee and sat on the back porch. I needed to process all that had happened, as great as it had been. Every time I recalled the sensations I felt last night, my skin was dotted with goosebumps. It was crazy.
While I watched the rustling leaves on the trees and sipped my coffee, my mind was in the past because I could still feel Dorian touching me, kissing me, tasting me. I could feel it all. He'd been my first, and as amazing as our sex life was back then, last night was like nothing I'd ever felt.
His attention to my body, the things he did, and his skill to make a woman reach her highest peak, had grown to another level. Of course, he'd been with other women, and after last night I wasn’t mad about it.
We'd gone two lengthy rounds before falling asleep, and now I felt more sated and rested than I'd felt in months.
I shook my head while laughing to myself. While I was planning to be done with Dorian for good, the universe was planning otherwise. I'd stormed through the night to his house only to be humbled by the truth, and now thinking about him didn't bring me pain, just adoration, but that was a little scary.
Last night was great, but I didn't want to rush things.
I lowered the cup from my lips, my mood taking a shift.
Dorian asked me to stay so we could talk about what happened last night, but I wasn't going to hop into a relationship. If he and I were going to do this, I didn't want to rush. We'd start over, not pick up where we left off because I wasn't the woman I was before, and he wasn't the same either. Relationships weren’t just about getting to know each other but about compatibility and learning who we were as a couple.
Therefore, just because we'd been madly in love before, didn’t mean things would work out now.
“Don’t be rash,” I said aloud. “Take things slow.”
Or as slow as things could get after what happened last night, but even so, I was eager to see what the future had in store. A strong wind blew my hair, and I placed my cup on the table beside the chair.
I hugged myself, traveling back in my mind to days when I’d stayed over like last night. I always had my morning coffee right here. This was my spot for morning meditation or simply enjoying the silence. I hadn't thought I'd make it back here, and it was odd that although last night I couldn’t sleep, now I felt at home.
When the door opened, and Dorian walked out, I stared up at him, and he stared at me. Neither of us said anything, and I wondered if he felt the same way I did, as if nothing could be more perfect than this moment.
I wanted us to start over, but in this moment, this was a continuation of something beautiful and pure.
When he held his hand out to me, I took it, and he pulled me up. He sat down, and I sat on his leg so we could cuddle, and instead of talking, we enjoyed the moment.
Easy rapport with someone was essential, but it was equally meaningful being able to sit in silence.
We remained on the back porch for maybe an hour until I realized he'd already showered, so he'd gotten home without me hearing.
"Is everything okay with Killian?" I asked while standing up and picking up my cup to make my way inside.
He stood up. “I think we have something more important to talk about first.” He pinched my chin. “Don’t you think so?”
I shrugged and walked away, and he followed me into the kitchen. "I suppose so, yes."
He sat down on the island. "That doesn't sound like this conversation will go in the direction I want it to."
“Which direction is that?” I asked after putting the cup in the sink. “Us getting back together?”
“Why not?” he asked. “Last night was amazing, Marian, and I don't mean just the sex, although that was surely a highlight.”
I faced the sink to wash the cup, but I was just trying to hide my blush. “Right.”
"The entire night from the moment you arrived changed everything for us," Dorian continued. "I know you felt it too. I told you I would do everything to make up for what I did, but I need to know if we have a chance.”
I washed and dried the cup and kept drying it until Dorian reached around me to take it.
"Marian," he said softly and turned me to face him. "I don't mean to be pushy. I'm sorry. Last night wasn't meaningless to me or a one-night thing, and I just want to know what you're thinking."
"I'm thinking I feel the same," I laid my hands on his chest. "I think we can take things slow and start over. Dates, dinner, relearn what it's like to be together, and learn about the people we are now. I just can't rush into anything. I know the truth now, but still, I just…”
