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“Yeah.”
“Did you think about showing me your hard little cock while Sophie was stroking your hair?”
His whole body shudders as he chokes on a sob, hand stuttering. “OhGod.” If I was there, I’d squeeze his balls because I can tell he wants to and can’t.
You’re going too far. Maybe they’re supposed to be together.We’re so far from supposed to I’m not sure how I’ll find my way back.
“What’s wrong with me?” he moans, his thick shoulder muscles tightening as he pumps his cock. “What am I going to do, Gray?”
“You’re going to come for me, because you’ve kept me waiting for six months.”
He lets out a strangled cry, face tightening, and gasps as cum spills out, a fucking load of it, running hot down his fingers. My mouth remembers the taste of it, like no one else I’ve ever tried.
As his cock starts to soften in his palm, his eyes blink open and he wipes his fingers across his abs. He slides down until he’s lying on the counter, looking sideways at me. “You’re touching yourself, aren’t you?”
I let go of my dick. “No.”
He squirms into a more comfortable position, smirking a little as he tries to catch his breath. “That’s not true. You’re hard as fuck and you’re playing with it. I bet it looks super hot.”
My hand’s back before I can stop it, working my length. “Maybe it does.”
“You’re not going to show me.”
“No.”
It’s not about propriety; it’s trust and control, the things I need, the things Colson wouldn’t let me have. I gave up on relationships and sex years ago becauseI’m so emotionally stunted I can’t function unless everything happens on my termsisn’t a very good pickup line.
“I’ve dreamed about it in my mouth. Do you think I could make you come just sucking on it?” He sticks out his tongue, like an invitation. “I don’t know how, but it sounds fun.”
I’d assume he was trying to taunt me into changing my mind, but there’s something about the hunger in his eyes that’s so gentle and guileless.
“I thought perhaps you changed your mind about being bi.”
He sighs. “I thought so, too. My crushes on other guys went away after we…but now I don’t think they went away. They just got replaced.” His gaze searches out mine, like I have an answer. Then he buries his face in his arm and groans. “What about Sophie? I’m supposed to be asking her to be my girlfriend right now.”
“Listen. Everything will be clearer tomorrow. If you two want to date, don’t let this come between you.”Don’t let me say the things I said.
“What about tonight?” he murmurs.
“Tonight.” I steady myself, cock swollen and dripping in my fingers. “Tonight, I’m going to hang up and get off on what you just did. I want you to think about that as you shower and go back to bed. And if you’re hard again, you’d better not let your roommate hear you jacking off under the covers.”
He exhales shakily, rolling off the counter and crouching with his chin on the edge. “You’re really intense. Are you a dom or something? I’ve heard of those.”
“No. I’m just a control freak.”
A strange smile crosses his face. If I didn’t know better, I’d call it tender. “You are, aren’t you?” A moment later, his shoulders sag. “Is this messed up?”
“It’s not,” I lie. “No one can help a crush. It’s just chemicals. Our bodies like things that make them feel good. It will go away on its own.”
His eyes widen a little. “Do I really make you feel good?”
Ten minutes too late, my responsible self shows up, like that GIF Victor showed me once of the man with the pizza who comes back to find his apartment in flames. “I gave you a job, Jonah. Go do it.”
“Got it. Sorry.”
This time, I figure out how to shut off the call. “Fuck.” I toss my phone at the bed and it slides off the far side of the slippery, synthetic sheets. Pressing my hand to my eyes, I check in with one part of my body at a time, like I’ve learned through meditation, calming each in turn until my heart isn’t racing and my muscles aren’t knots of tension. My erection, on the other hand, doesn’t give a shit about mindfulness.
I get back into the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go. Propping my forehead against the wall just gives me a full view of my pathetically desperate cock. Deep, aching waves of pleasure roll through me as I stroke it slowly. I close my eyes and imagine my hand is his, that he’s in here with me. How his wet body would take up all the extra space. How he’d lap at my chest like a thirsty animal and rub his fat cock against mine, the piercings cold and hard.
I too am not a bit tamed.
I come violently across the tiled wall at the thought of him in bed, imagining this, getting hard again whether he wants to or not. Biting his lip, trying not to moan as he comes a second time.
This is twisted. He’s so wrong for me.
But how can he ever be wrong, how can he be twisted, with that light in his eyes, that smile?
Thank God this is almost over, because I can smell ruin in the air.
