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Struggling to catch my breath, I pull back and wipe my face on my t-shirt, trying to make sure there isn’t any snot on my lips before I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.
I guess this is me coming out. It’s kind of fitting, in a way, for a guy who doesn’t know the meaning of the word subtle, who never thinks before he does things. Right now, I don’t care.
Except you can’t kiss forever, and as I sit back, it sinks in what I’ve just done. That I don’t know whatWhatever that looks likeactually means. That maybe I got a little carried away.
But when I see the look on his face, I know it’s going to be okay. We’re going to figure it out. The two halves of a whole don’t have to look anything alike; they just have to fit together into something better than the sum of its parts. I’m grinning like a fool, my hand on his cheek. “You look so fucking tired.”
He leans into my palm. “It’s a lot of work getting a last-minute flight, crossing about sixty time zones, tracking you down in the middle of nowhere, wondering the whole time if it’s too late.”
“Yeah, I work fast. I already have a girl knocked up; wedding’s tomorrow.”
Then his eyes shift from my face to the room behind me and I stand up and turn around because I can’t avoid it any longer. Denver is running an interception all the way down, but no one’s paying any attention. My mom looks like she’s about to pass out.
Gray did his job, so I guess it’s time to do mine. I grab his hand, flinching at the pain that shoots up my wrist. “This is a really awkward way to do this, and I’m sorry, but this is my boyfriend.” I search out my dad’s face, the shock and betrayal in his eyes which hurts even though I expected it. “Mom, Dad, I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Is he the reason you dropped out of school?” Mom asks weakly. “Howoldis he?”
I feel Gray shift, but I tighten my grip on his hand. “He tried harder than anyone else in this world to keep me in school. And he’s thirty-six, but I willnothear anyone in this room use that as an excuse to be homophobic because Aunt Erin and Uncle Carl are twelve years apart, so if it’s fine for straight people it can sure as hell be fine for…uh…” I stumble over the wordgay, not sure if it’s the right one, and end up just saying, “for us.”
Everything quiets down, and I get the bad feeling that this is the part where people start saying things they regret later, things that wreck families and never quite get forgiven. “Gray and I are going to his hotel while everyone cools off, and I will call later to see about coming back for dessert if everyone can be civil. I love all of you.”
I practically drag Gray out onto the porch, jamming my feet in unlaced boots on the way, feeling the cold bite under my hoodie. We stop in the driveway as I look around at the empty piles of snow. “Wait. Where’s your car?”
“There wasn’t a good time to butt in and let you know that I took an Uber, which has since departed.”
“Why the fuck did you send the car away when you didn’t even know what I was going to say?”
He rubs his hands together and breathes into them. “Call it a leap of faith.”
I squint across the fallow fields stretching in every direction. “Let me guess—you don’t have a hotel either.”
He shakes his head. “I was in a hurry.”
All the snotty tears and adrenaline turn into a relieved laugh, and I lean into him, pulling him against me. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. The world is a very peaceful place without you in it, and I guess you’ve ruined me for peaceful.”
I lean back, find his gaze. “I love you too, you know.”
And I guess he didn’t, because the slow smile that dawns on his face pulverizes my heart into warm, beautiful dust.
I bury my nose in his dark green sweatshirt. “Do you even know what sport the Jets play?”
“There’s a football in the logo.”
Stepping back, I admire him again. “You look so fucking cute like this.”
“I think you’re the first person who has ever called mecute.”
“That’s because cute Gray is mine and no one else’s. From now on he will wear whatever I want, whenever I want it.”
His big hand wraps tightly around the back of my neck like he's scruffing a bad puppy. "Be very careful what you say to the person who knows every single one of your weak spots and how they're all in your ass."
Grinning, I lead him through the slippery snowdrifts to the garage, where my old truck sits. It should be on blocks at this point, but I think it will still run. Most of the dashboard is gone, and I’m sure as hell not going back inside to get the keys, so I lean over the seat and pull out the wires. “Lend me your hands.”
I watch him frown in concentration as he carefully twists the wires together. “Bet you never thought you’d be hot-wiring a car.”
He studies the sagging house, the old barn, the dead cars sticking out of the snow. “I suspect it’s going to be the first in a very long series of things I’ve never done before.” He doesn’t sound mad about it.
