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The track widened enough for them to walk side by side and Rafe stopped to wait for Mikayla to catch up. They walked back to the house, letting themselves in with the key Callum hid under a plant pot.
“He asleep?”
Mikayla looked at Billy, his eyes drowsy as he rested on Rafe’s shoulder. “Not yet, but he will be soon, unless he wants to wake up and have a hot chocolate.”
“I’m awake!” Billy bounced up, then promptly gave a jaw cracking yawn, much to Rafe and Mikayla’s amusement.
“Okay, well, why don’t you let Rafe help you get changed and I’ll make the chocolate.”
Mikayla had the chocolate ready when they came back downstairs. “Not sure when everyone else will be back, but I’ve made us coffees now, because I am quite desperate for a Tim Tam slam, and I’m not prepared to wait.”
Rafe laughed. “Fair enough.”
Mikayla pulled Billy onto her lap as they sat down at the long dining table, under the high, gabled glass ceiling. “Alright, William Locke, I think you’re ready for this. I’m gonna show you how to slam this Tim Tam.” She removed two chocolate-coated, cream filled rectangular shaped biscuits from the pack. “First, you bite a corner off each end.” She showed him, making sure he took a big enough bite from each end. “That’s it, then you dip one end in your chocolate, like this, and suck really hard on the other end.” She watched carefully, pushing the biscuit further into the hot chocolate so he could suck it up more easily. “Suck a bit harder, you’ve gotta get the hot chocolate through the biscuit.” She laughed outright when his eyes went round with astonishment and delight as warm, gooey chocolate hit his mouth. “Good, hey?”
He nodded enthusiastically.
“Okay, now you have to eat the biscuit before it melts everywhere.” She helped him hold the half-melted biscuit while he ate it, then agreed that he could have one more biscuit, but that was it.
“Why isn’t Rafe having one?”
“Hm, I don’t know why Rafe isn’t having one.” Mikayla looked across at Rafe, sitting at the table with his coffee. He eyed her with an arrested expression on his face. She tilted her head to one side, quirking her brow in inquiry.
“Huh?” He seemed to give himself a shake.
“Don’t want a slam?”
“Nah, you have them.” He pushed back from the table, moving over to the big picture window, sipping his coffee as he gazed out over the valley.
Mikayla helped Billy with a second biscuit, making him laugh when she ate her own and the melted chocolate from the biscuit ran down her chin. “God, what a mess. Let’s go clean up.”
They came back to the lounge room just as Rafe was putting a big log in the wood heater. “Rafe, will you read me these books?” Billy asked, holding upHairy Mclary From Donaldson’s DairyandHairy Mclary’s Caterwaul Caper.
“Sure.”
Mikayla cleaned up the table and coffee cups while Rafe sat in a beanbag next to the fire, Billy curled up in his lap, readingHairy Mclary from Donaldson’s Dairy.She smiled to herself when Billy excitedly finished the names of each of the dogs before Rafe could. He started to tire about halfway through the story, though, resting his head on Rafe’s chest as Rafe picked up the second book. Mikayla moved through the dining area into the lounge room, smiling as she saw that Billy’s eyes had drifted closed, Rafe’s mellow voice easing him into sleep. Seeing Rafe there with a small child cuddling up to him, reading quietly, stopped her in her tracks. She was hit by a razor-edged wave of longing. For this. For her child. For their child. He glanced up at her, standing frozen in the middle of the room as she was, and his voice faded away.
“Mik?” His voice was laced with concern.
She snapped out of it, gesturing at Billy and saying softly, “He’s asleep.” She pulled a light blanket off the back of the sofa and stepped over, laying it gently over Billy as Rafe lifted his hand so she could tuck it around his back. Before she could move away, he grabbed her wrist, searching her face for the longest time. She tried her best to keep her expression neutral, but she knew she was one of those people where everything she was thinking showed on her face. To her relief, he let her go. Not knowing what else to do, because sitting in the lounge room with him while Billy slept felt odd, she went upstairs. Pulling on a thick sweater and socks, she headed out to the little balcony that opened off their bedroom. Taking a deep breath of cool, light air, she sat down on the low outdoor sofa and pulled her knees up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and contemplated the view.
She was nearly thirty, and although she’d always assumed having a family was in her future, it wasn’t really something she had given much thought to. She loved kids and adored Billy, but she’d never felt a yearning, a hunger, for her own—until today. Her mind drifted back to what had happened in the shower that morning and she felt warm all over. Jesus, that was so hot. Most of the time, their lovemaking was sweet and fun, but every now and then, Rafe brought an intensity to it that almost melted her bones. She had no idea where it came from, had no way of predicting it, but when it happened, it swept her away. But today had been different. More intense, somehow, even more overwhelming.
So, when she realized that he hadn’t pulled out, when she’d told him that she knew it was okay and that she would have stopped him if it hadn’t been, she had been lying through her teeth. She could no more have stopped him than she could a tsunami. Added to that, when she’d realized what had happened and she did the quick calculation of her cycle, her first reaction had been disappointment, followed by relief. The relief was an obvious reaction, but the disappointment had caught her by surprise. Probably just a subconscious response to turning thirty, that’s all. Yes, that made sense. Biological clock and all that, she told herself.
She felt immediately calmer, so that when she heard Rafe moving through the bedroom and the sliding door opening, she was able to greet him with a smile. He sat down next to her, draping his arm along the back of the sofa. Did he seem a little hesitant, or did she imagine it?
“What’d you do with Billy?” She snuggled into him, happy when he put his arm around her.
“Just laid him on the couch. Probably best if he only has a little nap, or he won’t sleep tonight.”
“Wise words.” She put her head on his shoulder, gazing over the tops of the trees, to the sky turning a soft, mauvy pink with the setting sun. “Do you want kids?” She blurted out, cursing her impetuosity when she felt him tense next to her.
“What, now?”
She pulled back to look at him, but his face was unreadable. “No, not now. But, you know, one day.”
“Sure, one day.”
