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And yet, he thought he might have detected a squeeze. It was possible he was mistaken. His heart was thumping very loudly and everything felt a little like it was under pressure.
This was the nice kind, though.
“Will you tell me a story?” he asked. “I don’t want… quiet.”
“I’m not a great storyteller.”
“I find it likely you’re a better storyteller than a nurse.”
“I will leave this bed.”
“There’s many a woman who would be delighted to find themselves in my bed…”
“Only the ones who don’t know you.”
Hawthorn stiffened.
“I’m sorry,” she said, still not moving from her spot. “That was… that was too harsh.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say sorry before.”
Apart from that night the fever spiked, and I’m not sure I understand why.
“That’s because I’ve never had to. But that… that was too far. And for all my barbs, I don’t find youcompletelydetestable.”
“You’re so charming, Jules.”
She hesitated. “How can you say that?”
“What?”
“Isn’t that a lie?”
“I—”
“Oh my, you actuallydofind me charming!”
“You… get out of my bed.”
“As you wish…”
“No,” he said, grabbing her arm before she could slip away, “stay. Please.”
And then, with a raw softness he feared he’d never be used to, “all right.”
Hawthorn had shared his bed with women before—even the occasional man—but not one had stayed the night. He’d never had anyone put their arms around him, never crawled into the warmth they emitted, never dreaded crawling out of it.
He really must be sick.
He wrapped his arms around Jules’ middle and rested his head against her chest, his heart hammering like a demented creature.
Don’t go,he wanted to whisper.Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go.
Of course, by morning, she’d slunk off, and didn’t say one word to him about it.
He didn’t mention anything, either.
Little by little, his strength returned. The days and hours came back to him, not lost to fever or drug-induced sleep. He couldn’t believe how badly the fever had knocked him, how his limbs had turned numb and wobbly. The first day he tried to stand unassisted, he almost fell flat on his face.
