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Rising to my feet, I brushed off my jeans and stared up at the large building in front of us. General Hospital sat in big red letters on the tallest part of the building. I hadn’t been there often. Last time was when Sunny had a cold that turned out to be the flu. He refused medication, so it only got worse and to the point where it ended up being pneumonia.
A shuddered breath left me as the memory slid into my mind.
Making my way into the building, I headed to the room that Meadow was staying in. As I reached the floor she was on, I walked down the long white hall. As soon as I stood outside her room, two words came from inside the room. Two words that I never thought I would ever hear. Not when it came to someone I was in love with.
“What did you just say?” I heard Meadow ask, her voice soft and unsure.
The doctor cleared her throat. “You’re pregnant.”
***
(Meadow)
My mind was numb. I didn’t care about anything but at the same time, I did. It was confusing. I was confused. The tears no longer fell. I hadn’t known Sunny for long but for the time that I did, I fell in love with him hard. The three of us balanced each other out. While Shade submitted to me, Sunny dominated me and gave me everything that I needed. He was my Sir. My Daddy. While some wouldn’t find it normal, it was our normal. It made us up, as individuals and as a trio. And now it was just Shade and I. If he still wanted to be with me.
My eyes burned, the tears threatening to escape once again. It hurt. Every inch of me hurt. Physically. Emotionally. Fucking mentally. I missed him. God, I missed him. He was taken from me far too soon. And Shade, I had no idea how we would get through this.
My chest tightened, the air escaping my lungs, burning through me.
After everything that happened outside the café, the police questioned everyone who was in the vicinity and surrounding area. They had shown up at the hospital, asking both Shade and I questions. But of course, no one had any answers. Bottom line, either Tanner or one of his crew shot up the place and we lost Sunny because of it.
Hell’s Harlem made an appearance, the police asked everyone questions, cleared us to leave and now I was at the hospital. Truth was, I couldn’t remember much of the night. I had passed out in Shade’s arms. Under normal circumstances, I was sure an ambulance would have taken me away, but these biker clubs liked to do things their own way. So, they drove me to the hospital themselves.
“You’re pregnant.”
I broke down into tears when the doctor told me that I was carrying a baby. I hadn’t even known Sunny and Shade for that long. It didn’t make sense.
“Condoms aren’t foolproof,” the doctor said gently, giving me a small smile.
We did the math and estimated that I was just over a month along.
It had felt like I had known them for much longer when really, it had been almost two months. I couldn’t believe I was carrying Sunny and Shade’s baby. But I didn’t know where Shade was. Maybe I would never see him again. Maybe this was it. Maybe Sunny’s death broke us. I had told him to take a breather but maybe he left for good. Maybe he was only with me in the first place because of Sunny himself.
No, that wasn’t the case. Shade loved me.
The sound of the door opening followed by heavy footsteps rang through me but I couldn’t look to see who it was. Even though I knew. I could smell him before he got close enough. I could feel him. Taste him.
The bed dipped beside me.
A sob lodged its way into my throat. He never left.
Shade pushed his face into the crook of my neck, wrapping his arm around my middle. His body shook with silent but rough cries. He lost a piece of himself. A man he had been in love with since he was young. A man he gave his complete self to. A man who took and gave him everything in return. A man I could never compete with.
“Don’t leave me.”
My head whipped around. I stared up into Shade’s red-rimmed eyes. “What?” I croaked.
“Don’t leave me,” he repeated, leaning his forehead against mine. “I couldn’t handle it if you did.”
“Never.” I cupped his cheek, his thick beard tickling my fingers. He had grown it in some once he realized how much I liked it. “I thought you would leave me. I thought it was us three. And that’s it. Now that it’s just us two…I…I just…” Tears fell, rolling down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.” Shade pulled me against him, crushing me into a deep hug. “It’s not your fault,” he said, his voice shaking. “I’m not leaving you. Never, Meadow.”
“I should have done something. I shouldn’t have called Tanner on like that. I should…” A sob tore through me, crushing every bone in my body with the weight of my anguish.
“Baby.” Shade wrapped his hands in my hair, holding me tight and crying along with me.
“It should have been me,” I sobbed, tugging him tighter against me. My hold on him was so damn tight, it was like I was trying to burrow beneath his skin. Maybe I was. I wanted him to take the pain away and I would do the same for him.
