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“Don’t say that,” he pleaded, his voice thick.
“If you wouldn’t have met me…”
“Don’t.” He leaned back, staring down at me. “We met you because we were supposed to. You helped Sunny and I become closer. You helped him confess his love for me and I…” He swallowed hard. “The same.”
“But he was taken from you. Because of me.”
“No.” Shade cupped my face. “He saved you.”
“But he died because of that,” I cried, shoving from his grip. I tried pulling away. Even though I was in a hospital bed and hooked up to an IV, I still tried to get as far away from him as possible.
“Don’t, little lamb.” Shade sat behind me and pulled me back against him. “Please don’t pull away from me. I need you. I can’t do this alone.”
My shoulders slumped with defeat. All the weight of what happened tonight, came down hard on my body. “I want him back.”
“I know.” Shade cupped my stomach. “The doctor said that you’re pregnant.”
I nodded, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Sunny died for you and his baby. My baby.”
I covered Shade’s hand. “Ourbaby.”
“I’m so sorry, Meadow.” Shade kissed the side of my head. “I promise you that I will be the best father I can be. I’ll never be able to replace what you had with Sunny but I’m here. I’m always here.”
I looked up at him then. “I was thinking the same thing.”
Shade cupped the side of my neck. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t replace what you had with Sunny either.” I kissed him softly on the mouth. “I’m sorry for your loss, Shade. I’m so sorry.”
Shade leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry for yours.”
I had gone into this wanting to fulfill a fantasy and instead, I fell in love with two men at the same time. While Sunny was taken from us, this baby would be a way for us to heal. But I knew the only way that Shade and I could truly heal was by being there for each other. No matter what happened.
“We never got a chance to go on our date,” I murmured.
Shade sighed. “I know.”
Not that it was important but Sunny had been determined to prove to the world that this was right. That poly relationships happened. He let on like he didn’t care what people thought but he did. He was worried that Shade would leave him because of other people’s opinions over what they shared. Over whatweshared.
“This isn’t weird for you?” Shade asked a little while later. His fingers were in mine, his calloused thumb rubbing back and forth over my palm.
“What do you mean?” I really wanted to go home but the doctor insisted I stay overnight for observation. Especially since I hit my head pretty hard, add to the fact that I was pregnant. My heart jumped. I still couldn’t believe I was carrying Sunny and Shade’s baby.
“Well I know you wanted a relationship with two men. And you’re pregnant. It could be either mine or Sunny’s or…”
“Or?” I looked up at him.
His usually bright green eyes were no longer green but a shade of gray. They reminded me of Sunny’s slate eyes. Eyes that I had looked into for what felt like an eternity when really, it hadn’t been that long at all.
“You were with someone else before us.” Shade shook his head. “I’m not accusing you of anything.” He sat up, pushing out from behind me and sliding off the bed. He started pacing. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” I held my arms out. “Come here.”
Shade stopped and turned to me. “We can get a DNA test.”
“No.” I patted the spot in front of me. “Sit. Please.”
