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Meadow
A YEAR HAD PASSED,and it still wasn’t easier. To deal with the pain. The loss. To not have him by my side. To not hear his deep voice telling me what to do and how to please him or seeing his gray eyes light up whenever they landed on both Shade and I.
But I liked to think that Sunny was looking down on us, encouraging us to take it one day at a time. If it weren’t for Shade, I knew that I would have fallen into myself, never to return. And I was sure that if it weren’t for me, Shade would have done the same.
Having Sunny’s room done up as the nursery helped us heal. It wasn’t much but it was a start. Somehow, him being gone made Shade and I stronger. Individually and as a couple. But I could still hear him cry himself to sleep when he thought I wasn’t listening. I could also hear him talk to himself, like he was having a conversation with Sunny whenever he looked at our son.
Andrew was our life and because of him, we were able to get through each day.
“What are we going to name him?” I asked Shade as I stared down at our newborn baby. A son. God, we had a son.
“Andrew,” Shade said, his voice thick. “That was Sunny’s middle name.”
My eyes welled. I nodded. “It’s perfect.” I cupped Shade’s cheek and placed a soft peck on his mouth. “Absolutely perfect.”
And it had been. Andrew was the perfect baby. He never cried but instead, cooed and giggled, talking to us in his baby babble. It was funny in a way how much he reminded me of Sunny already. With his deep blue eyes and his constant chatter, he was always telling both Shade and I what to do in his own way.
A warm body stepped up behind me, followed by a hot mouth landing on my neck. Shade growled. “You smell good.”
I laughed, turning in his arms. “I had a shower and I don’t smell like baby puke anymore.”
Shade chuckled, his eyes roaming down the length of me. “Andrew’s down for a nap.”
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow, placing my hands on his chest. “He must have passed out after I fed him because it’s not his nap time.”
“Don’t care.” Shade crouched.
“What are you—” He had me over his shoulder before I could finish my question. My laughter followed us into our bedroom.
“It’s been awhile.” Shade threw me on the bed, gripping my hips and pulling me to the edge of the bed.
“It hasn’t been that long.” Truth was, it had been weeks, but I was always so damn tired, I didn’t feel like showering much less having sex. It had also been hard since Sunny died. Neither of us cared to admit it though. I thought I had been the glue for both Sunny and Shade when really, it had been Sunny all along.
Shade kissed the spot between my breasts. “You good?”
I smiled, running my fingers through his dark hair. “I am. I am really good.”
After Shade fucked me good and hard like we both needed, I was leaning against the headboard with him lying on his stomach. His head rested against my chest. It had been a signature move for us even if we hadn’t had sex. He would lay on top of me. I would run my fingers through his hair. He would fall asleep. And I would breathe a sigh of relief and hope that he had happy dreams.
We still hadn’t heard from Tanner, but Greyson had found out that he had gone into hiding. Looked like his club had turned on him after all. A part of me felt bad for him but at the same time, if I ever saw him again, I would kick his ass.
Greyson would call every so often and fill Shade in on club business but other than that, he never expected Shade to show up. He needed time. We both did.
I had nightmares every so often about Sunny dying on top of me. Some of those dreams, would follow with Shade dying instead. I would always wake up in a cold sweat with my screams silent on my tongue. Shade would calm me down and I would fall back asleep in his arms. It was hard. It was so damn hard. But with each day, each step, we got through it.
Death wasn’t something you could get over though.
Especially not in this case.
But together, Shade and I were learning to heal.
Ever since Andrew was born, our worries and fears, fantasies and thoughts, were focused solely on him.
He was the reason we got through each day.
He was the reason we survived the nightmares from our minds.
I saw Sunny in him and I also saw Shade. We didn’t know whose DNA ran through him, but we didn’t care.
He wasn’t Sunny’s.
He wasn’t Shade’s.
He wasours.
***THE END***
