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“No, I’m not okay.I fucked up again.I can’t believe this has happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I went over to see Valentina.”
“Okay.So you do like her?”
“Yeah, you dumb shit.I like her.”
“Okay.No need to bite my head off.”
“Well, her dad walked in on us.”
“Oh shit.”
“And let’s just say she knows everything.”
“Oh, Sam, and I’m guessing you didn’t tell her.”
“I was going to, Stefano.I really was.I wanted to tell her everything.I wanted us to move forward, and I—”
“But her father got ahead of you?”
“Yeah, and now she hates me.”
“Come on then.Meet you at The Toad’s Hole?We can get some beers.”
“Yeah.Will you contact Sergio and Santino and tell them to meet us there?”
“On it.I'll get Dad there as well.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“No worries, Sam.And I’m sorry for what it’s worth.”
“Thanks.It’s my own fault, of course.But I feel like it was expected.When do I ever seem to have any sort of luck?”I hung up the phone quickly and stopped right there in the middle of the street.I looked around and watched the people going up and down.There was a couple obviously in love as they giggled and held hands.And all I could think was “Die, you assholes.”I was not in a good mental state of mind, and I knew I would have to fix myself quickly.I couldn’t allow myself to exist in this self-hatred even though I deserved it.I’d fucked up.I’d really fucked up.The love of my life thought I was a scoundrel and a liar and a money-grubber, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds and then felt someone hit me.“Get out of the way, you asshole!”a loud voice said from next to me.
My eyes flickered open.I pressed my lips together and continued walking.I wasn’t sure how I’d forgotten I was in the middle of New York City.This was not the place to have a mental breakdown in the streets.I made my way to The Toad’s Hole.I’d have some drinks with my brothers and my dad, and I knew they would make me feel slightly better, even if I didn’t feel completely whole.I got to The Toad’s Hole about thirty minutes later, and all my brothers were there with beers.
“Dad said he’ll be here within fifteen minutes,” Sergio said as he looked up at me.“Heard about Valentina.Sorry about that.”
“You did?From who?”He nodded toward Stefano, and I nodded.For a couple of minutes, I thought he had heard from Gabriella, but then she wasn’t talking to him either.
“It’s okay.I messed up.I should have said something to her earlier, or maybe I shouldn’t have fallen for my client’s daughter.”I shrugged.
“These things happen,” Santino said.“It’s not your fault.”
“Thanks.Try telling that to my …” I was about to say broken heart, but I didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of my brothers.I grabbed one of the beers from the table and started chugging.The cool liquid slid down my throat, and I licked my lips, glad I could get drunk tonight with my best friends.
“So, you idiots are going to go see Patti tomorrow?”I sat down, and Santino raised an eyebrow.
“I guess we’re getting to this discussion right away, then, are we?”
“Yeah, I think we are.What are you two thinking?Why would you—”
“I am not ready to forgive her,” Santino said.“I just want to see her.”
