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“Good for you.”
“And there’s something I want to make for you.I was hoping that we could go on a picnic tomorrow at the park?”
“A picnic at the park?Really?”
“Yeah.I thought it would be fun, and who knows?Maybe romantic.”She paused.“Am I allowed to say that?”
“Are you allowed to say what?That it’ll be romantic?You can say whatever you want to say, Valentina.”
“I know I can say whatever I want to say, Sam, but you’ve been super grumpy and mean to me, and I just don’t know if we’re on the same page.”
“I don’t know if we’re in the same book,” I said.
She sighed.“Please?I really think we need to have a conversation in person.I don’t really know what’s going on.The last time I saw you, it was amazing.Are you blowing me off because you hit it and quit it?”
“I’m not that sort of guy, Valentina.”
“I didn’t think you were, but …”
“Fine, we’ll go on a picnic in the park tomorrow.”
“Is everything okay with your mom?”
“She’s fine, I guess.I don’t know.I haven’t spoken to her, and I haven’t heard anything from Stefano recently.”
“It must have been hard.Her leaving when you were young.”
“It wasn’t easy.”
“It must have been hard not having a mother figure?”
“I had Sienna.”
“But she wasn’t with you all the time, was she?”
“No,” I said.
“And your dad was …”
“My dad did the best he could.”I closed my eyes.“What do you want, Valentina?I don’t understand why you’re calling me at two o'clock in the morning to talk about my mom, and …”
“Maybe I just want to get to know you better?Maybe I want to understand what you’re going through?Maybe I can be someone you can talk to?”
“Do you want me to tell you that my heart broke when I saw her the other day?Do you want me to tell you that all the feelings of rejection and pain that I felt as a little kid came back?Do you want me to tell you about the time when I was in sixth grade and they had a mother and son dance, and I went by myself and danced with all my friends’ moms who felt sorry for me, and I could see my friends laughing and whispering?Do you want me to tell you about the time I broke my arm skateboarding, and the nurse wanted to call my mom, but I had no mom for her to call?Do you want me to tell you about the time I was dating a girl, and she said that she wanted to go to lunch with my mom for Mother’s Day and asked me what her favorite flowers were, and I had to tell her I didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day, and even if I did, I wouldn’t even know what her favorite flowers are because I barely remembered what she looked like?Do you want me to tell you that?Would that make you feel better, Valentina?”
There was silence on the other side of the phone, and I wasn’t sure if I’d hurt her feelings by sounding as harsh as I had.
“Those are a lot of painful memories,” she said finally.“I understand why you’re hurting, Sam.”
“You understand?You, the daughter of a multi-millionaire who wants to give you the world, understands where I’m coming from?Do you know what it’s like to grow up with three brothers who look up to you like their second father because your own father hasn’t got it together and never got over his wife leaving?Do you want me to tell you what it’s like to make sure that your entire family can eat and sleep and live a life not embedded in crime?Do you want me to tell you what it’s like to be worried about waking up one day to the cops coming to your door to take your father away and splitting up your entire family?Do you want me to tell you that?”
“Why would the cops take your father away?Was he abusive?”
“No.But my dad used to be in the Mafia, and he did a lot of bad things.He nearly got busted, and he nearly went away for a long time.When my mom left, he realized that he had to get out of that life, and I thank God every day that my dad loved us enough to make a better choice.But it wasn’t easy, and every single time a bill came in he couldn’t pay, I thought to myself, what if he goes back to that life just to make a couple of bucks?What if he gets busted?What if he gets taken away, and we get put in foster care?They’re going to split us up; four rowdy young boys.
“My entire life has been thinking about how I can keep my family together, how I can make sure that everything’s going to be okay.So don’t try to psychoanalyze me and my mom and my brothers and whatever bullshit you want to psychoanalyze, Valentina.You don’t know me.Yes, we had a magical, fun meeting for the first time, and yeah, you’re beautiful, and you’re hot, and sexy, and amazing.And we had a great night the other night.But I am not in your world.I’m not the sort of guy your father would ever want you to be with.So why don’t you go with Mr.Blondie?Who’s got the big bucks, and …”
“What are you talking about, Sam?”She sounded pained.“I’m calling you because I like you.I’m calling you because”—she sighed—“have you ever been to therapy?”
