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When the truck finally parked and Naomi pulled in after it, Loren stiffened as a wave of dread washed over her. So much lurked between her and McGoven that it almost seemed impossible they could coexist without addressing it.
And they couldn’t. He wasn’t in charge anymore, and she was done letting him dictate what she thought and felt.
It was her turn to decide what she wanted for herself.
And yet, when he stepped from the truck, head held high, he radiated confidence that rendered her silent. Once again, she’d underestimated his knack for suppressing emotion. It was easy for him to put personal matters aside in the face of the unofficial role he’d taken on as Alpha.
In fact, he excelled at it. Clothed in a black shirt, windbreaker, and jeans, he seemed every bit as breathtaking as he did while in wolf form.
“This location isn’t ideal, but it’s better than waiting at the farm to be slaughtered,” he explained once she and Naomi exited the pink convertible.
They were on the outskirts of a small clearing speckled with wild grasses and a circle of beaten earth perfect for a campfire.
“We can stay here for the night and get the lay of the land before pushing further north,” McGoven explained. “For now, we’ll get some supplies and set up camp. Oh,” he added. “If you were worried about the horses… I arranged for one of the local farmers to check in on them while we’re gone—” He frowned at the word choice, even as it left his mouth. As if to betray him, his eyes darted in her direction, though she couldn’t name the emotion flitting through them. “They’ll be safe.”
Loren released a breath she hadn’t even been aware of holding. That last piece of information meant little to Micha and Naomi. It had been for her benefit alone.
More confused than ever, she watched him take off into the forest, presumably to scout on foot. Just like that, her hurt and anger diminished in the face of one grim realization. He had been right after all. The mating bond had been merely for her protection.
But, in that case, why did a part of her yearn for him now more than ever?
Maybe it was the same broken, lycan instincts to blame for her delayed ability to shift, and her knack for blending in with prey animals? Bill must have been an example of what a true lycan was capable of—someone able to shut off all emotion in the blink of an eye.
And pretend they never existed.
* * *
For three lycans—and Loren, who wasn’t willing to classify herself in the same category—their camp turned out surprisingly…normal. Despite the earlier chaos, McGoven had come prepared. He withdrew a series of equipment from his truck, resulting in two tents, cooking supplies, and basic camping materials.
Already, he was in the process of building a small fire, utilizing dried logs he’d taken from the back bed of his truck. Loren could only watch, in awe.
He worked deftly. As his stern fingers glowed in the light of newborn flames, she nearly choked. Once, those very hands had explored her body with a precision that stole the air from her lungs whenever she dared to recall it.
Her salvation from the memories came, ironically, in the form of Naomi, who stepped forward, placing her hands on her slender hips.
“Do you camp a lot in your free time or something?” the blond asked, her tone devoid of some of its usual snark. She fidgeted awkwardly as he fed the embers with crumpled paper.
“No. This stuff is mostly old equipment that belonged to the man who owned the farm before me,” McGoven said without looking up. “He loved the outdoors but wasn’t keen on fleas and preferred to stay in human form.”
“Weird,” Micha said, eyeing one of the packaged tents skeptically. “It’s gonna be hard to maintain a perimeter out here, though. I’m not familiar with this area, either. We could be stepping on the toes of a lone rogue or something.”
McGoven shook his head. “I doubt it. This is municipal property, and most rogues wouldn’t stray this close to such a heavily patrolled area. Luckily, with the storms passing through, the park rangers won’t risk driving on these roads, and we shouldn’t draw notice out this far from pack territory. I suspect we have a few hours at least before they notice we’ve moved. I aim to take advantage of that.” The wicked gleam in his eye was enough to snap even Loren from her daze.
“How?” she demanded.
He frowned as if he’d forgotten her presence entirely. An awkward silence fell afterward, and only the crackle of the fire filled it.
Embarrassment prickled her cheeks. She hadn’t spoken to him directly since what happened in the woods. It seemed he wasn’t willing to bridge the gap looming between them, either. He just picked up a wayward stick and continued to stoke the fire.
“Ah, why don’t you and I set this up, Naomi?” Micha grabbed one of the tents and set off with the grudging blond on his heels.
Bill watched them go, his jaw tight. Finally, he inclined his head in Loren’s direction, though he kept his gaze fixed on the fire at their feet. “I have some business to attend to,” he said cryptically. From his expression, she could tell he intended to say nothing more. Then he sighed again. “Part of it has to do with finding who your real father is.”
“Why does it matter?” she asked. Her niggling paranoia supplied a few possibilities. So that he could have someone new to foist her onto? Someone else who could consider her a burden?
He furrowed his brows, mulling over his reply. “Because it matters. To me, anyway. You should know who your family is. And I want to know who tried to silence you and why.”
“You knew him,” she pointed out. It felt so surreal to finally put a face to the figure who stalked her nightmares for so long. A phantom more terrifying than even Fred Connors. “The man who took my memories.”
